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TRUST....why is it so damn hard?
Trusting issues and jealousy basically go hand in hand.
When you do not trust in your own self as to how unique and important you are....you immediately feel less than and with that, insecurities rise up and jealousy is born. A true symptom of a lack of trust in yourself!
The only way to trust easily is to let yourself do so. It is easy once you understand why you are finding it so damn hard.
We are creatures of habit....habits are repetitive thoughts or actions that we fall into immediately because they are the last stored file in our thought patterns which end up being in the forefront of our brain. What this means is that the last thought or reaction stored will be the first one used when your emotions begin to rise in either a negative or positive response.
Habits are something that I talk about all of the time.
'Habit' is a very small word which carries so much reality and control over our positive and negative reactions and thoughts. The word 'habit' is also difficult to accept as what causes people to stay stuck in jealousy or insecure emotional traps.
It takes at least 14 days to break a habit, according to the latest researchers.
Now when I say that, I mean 14 days of consistent behavior, repeated over and over on the same subject matter.
That is why breaking an emotional habit is difficult. We do not run into fears and threats in a consistent manner.
We basically have to discipline ourselves into a self-talk therapy every day whether we are actually challenged with one of our fears or not. In doing this we must be prepared for 14 days of feeling very much on an emotional roller-coaster. This is exactly why so many people go to therapists for support in breaking negative emotional habits. It is not a simple task.
Silly analogy here but it seems to fit...think of a habit as pulling an end of a plastic electrical tie through its lock and then trying to pull it back. A very tough thing to accomplish, unless you work at it and stay committed to see it through to the end. It is not impossible but it is very challenging for most people.
We are still searching for the answers to questions such as....
Why is it so damn hard to trust?
Why is it so hard to feel good about yourself and your relationship any time and anywhere?
It is more so that, somewhere along the line you have fallen into a belief that you are not worthy of that relationship and you are in fear that at any second someone else will take over and replace you. Hence a low self-esteem or self-worth!
Trust is not about what another person may or may not do to you or that they observe another.
It is about:
- how safe you feel, being who you are.
- why you put yourself down.
- why you instantly compare yourself to another.
- why you feel the need immediately find a flaw in another that you feel threatened by.
- why your insides tighten and twist so that you find it hard to breathe at times.
- why you cannot accept a compliment at face value.
-why you look in the mirror and hate who you see.
Trust is all about YOU!
In order to battle and overcome one's insecurities in life,:
-you must feel secure in who you are and accept who you are.
-you must stop wanting to change what you cannot.
-you must learn to appreciate every little thing about who you are.
-you must focus on loving who you are.
-you must want to be happy about who you are.
-you must realize that every second that you dwell on unhappy thoughts...is life being wasted.
-you must learn that trust inside of you>
To be able to trust another and feel secure in a relationship...you must accept you, right now, this second.
Accepting who you are and allowing that thought to determine your life will in turn give you peace of mind.
You cannot control what another person is going to do, so why waste another second trying to through your own thoughts.
Accept that you are you and your partner is your partner.
Here are two very good thoughts to keep as your daily inspirations..
"To be Wronged is Nothing unless You continue to Remember It!"
"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are!"
Remember...trust comes from within your own thoughts and self-acceptance.
Strengthen those and your life will be what it is meant to be and that is free of chaos and doubt!!
DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com
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Posted: 10:25 AM, 7/13/2008 |
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Trust?
This is a great post.
Yes trust is all about knowing yourself and not trying to change things you can not.
www.motodanica.com |
Posted by Anonymous at 2:01 PM, 7/15/2008 |
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* About trust
| This writeup is just for me. My self-esteem is quite dropping lately.I'm glad I followed your link! |
Posted by Leidyundercover at 12:55 AM, 7/18/2008 |
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Trust
Nice article - trust is an internal emotional. If we have had our trust abused in any way in the past then we find it difficult to trust again. We make people earn any trust which can earn their wrath along the way. A double edged sword.
cheers les - http://www.just4famliles.com - thanks for visiting my site. |
Posted by Les at 9:55 AM, 7/22/2008 |
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Trust
Nice article.You are right.Trusting another person depends more on us.I have this problem.People have to fight hard to get into my 'inner circle'.I don't know why,but I just don't let people in.Perhaps I'll lok at thing differently after reading this
Thanks
Varun |
Posted by Varun at 11:08 PM, 10/9/2008 |
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