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Forgiveness is the key to personal freedom!

What do you do when one has hurt you?
One that you have trusted and cared about in your life!

What do you do when life hits you blindsided and pulls you down so fast that you almost lose your breathe, not to mention your sense of reality?

Do you become a new friend of negative thinking and allow hate, disgust, bitterness even resentment to take over your thoughts?
I am here to tell you, " DO NOT do that!"

Do not allow negative thinking to hold you down under that weight of mistrust and the desire to hurt back. It will be a very long road to nowhere fun. Happiness is not at the end of that road!
The only thing that you will find is a need to avenge your pain and sorrows. You will be tricked into thinking that to hurt back is the only way to find closure or some sort of justice.

Again I am here to tell you, "DO NOT do that!"

There is not a person on earth that has not experienced mistrust, criticism or deception in one form or another. Whether it be from a partner, child, co-worker, girl-friend or even a neighbor. When one has been hurt by a close trusted person, that hurt goes into places deep inside of your heart. It is a hurt that is almost unbearable and you feel like your life has come close to an end.
If you give into that hurt and allow it to consume your thoughts, you will fall into a very ugly world of wanting to somehow pay back that person in either the same level of hurt or even a deeper hurt.

I have experienced and witnessed situations where many people including myself have allowed the negative thoughts to control and blur their thinking. It only ended up in disaster, ranging from divorce, suicide, murder, even verbal slander which we all know has its own
way of causing a very irreparable wound.

The only way to survive a mistrust is to take a step towards a positive remedy and that my dear readers is to learn to forgive.
To be able to forgive is the key that unlocks the doors to a
new world, a positive world.
To be able to let the old hurts go and move forward in YOUR
life is a must in this closure.
The newness of thoughts once forgiveness has been reached is what you are striving to achieve.
This is your goal.
A life without goals is like a life without purpose.
In order to get to that point, one must learn how to forgive.
Through practice and consistent positive actions and thoughts, your mind will eventually open up and allow forgiveness. Once you have decided to reach out and forgive, you will immediately feel weight lift. You will feel immediate results of freedom.

To hold onto the hurts and negative memories will only result
in further hurting one person and that person is YOU!
In any emotional trauma, to hold onto the nightmares and memories only creates a new abuser, that being our own selves.
Forgiveness is but a jumble of letters, it is a mere word. The
action of this word is the vital key involved in finding this new
freedom.
It is through an acceptance of a negative situation that has happened and is over and a commitment or decision to let it go forever, that will help you to learn how to replace the power of that negative trap.
It is also imperative to work on freeing yourself as quickly as
possible. The longer you dwell and hold onto hurt and mistrust, the farther and more out of control you will become from reaching forgiveness.
One more very important thought that will help you is, that by forgiving and moving on, in no way does this mean that what has happened to you was not a wrong doing or that the person that has hurt you should be free of guilt. Also, this positive move forward through forgiveness does not mean that you are excusing or reducing the action against you.
What it does mean is that you are allowing yourself the freedom to take control of your thoughts and move forward.
You are identifying with the fact that your act of forgiveness is
for YOU not the other person involved.
You have replaced your position as victim and prisoner which removes the power of the opposing person and event that caused so much despair.
You have taken your right of choice and have moved toward a healthier, happier pattern of thoughts which will create the freedom to live!

Remember, your choice to forgive has no bearing on how the
other person reacts, thinks or chooses to live. The choices you
make are for YOU and your happiness alone and for the freedom of thought.

" To Be Wronged Is Nothing Unless You Choose To Remember It"

Keep moving forward people!
~D~
Dorothyl@womensselfesteem.com

Posted: 2:40 PM, 2/27/2008 in Abuse and Survival

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ABUSE!!! BULLYING in Schools!

ABUSE!!! Bullying in School!

Bullying is another form of abuse that takes place in schools every day. It does not have to be sexual or even by an adult. Bullying is what is happening to our children by other children. It is ABUSE!

If you saw your child being tripped or hit by another...would you not stop that child?

Would you not take precautions to never, ever allow it to happen again?

Would you allow another person's child to be bullied?

Would you not put the safety and protection of every child that attends a school first and foremost?

They say that, "The apple does not fall far from the tree" . Well is your tree healthy and strong, with good morals and genuine honesty? Are the apples that are falling from your tree carrying out the same attitudes and directions?

Where do you think a bully learns to bully? Children are not born to know how to spell any more than they know how to bully. It is truly a learned behaviour and they had to have learned it from somewhere.

What does your child watch on television?

What does your child see at his/her home in the form of bullying?

What does your child have to put up with when no one is there to protect him/her from parents or other siblings?

Bullying is ABUSE and it begins at home! It begins where an innocent is born into a world of difference and error.

Children begin school with a certain amount of trust and excitement. That is how it should be and how it should remain. BUT it does not, I am sad to say. We send our children to school to gain an education so that their lives can be successful and well built through the tools of education.

How many more people will have to endure bullying in their lives because others are too caught up in their own agendas, school politics, budgets...ect?
So tell me...are you going to help STOP the bullying before it erases any chance of a healthy self-esteem for our future generations?

I would like you to read this article that a young girl from England wrote to me in regards to her life and how bullying has affected her.

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Bullying in school.

Hi, My name is Kylie, and I am 19 years old. I feel strongly about bullying, because I have been bullied in the past. I hope you all find my article helpful. I hope that you enjoy reading it. And i believe that anyone reading this article that has been bullied, is taking the first step by reminding yourself, that you may be being bullied.

For as long as I remember, there has been some kind of bullying in schools. Whether you weren't smart enough, your appearance, even your personality wasn’t good enough were some of the reasons why bullying took place.

I hate how some people can bully another person because they aren’t like them, and because they see something in another they don’t like about themselves. Bullying begins at an early age, and I think it’s wrong. We have so much pain and suffering in this world as it is, why do we need one more thing? Can you not see that it is about not treating others fairly and that it’s wrong?

Many schools say they have certain policies in place, but if/when you try and report it, they don’t do anything about it.

How can some people be so judgmental on how other people are, do they think it’s fair to judge another person because they are different than them? How can that be right?

Who gave YOU the right to judge another person?

Do you wonder why there is so many people with mental illness today? Maybe it is because one of the main factors for it, is due to the neglect and ignornce of schools today.

Do you really think that being bullied to whatever extent isn’t going to harm that person not only physically, but emotionally, mentally and intellectually?

If only people would do something to stop this happening, do you really think there would be so many people with depression, low self-esteem, and confidence issues? I don’t think so.

It’s because of what happens in schools, that causes them to think negatively about themselves, to actually try and want to suicide. How can it be right? The victims of bullying just go unnoticed, people don’t seem to care, about the victims, most people just pass by, without giving a thought to how that person must be feeling.

I was bullied for all my high school life, and it’s not a nice feeling.

No matter how many times you report it nothing gets done, and I think that is wrong. It shouldn’t be that way. There should be something in place to stop this from happening. I am not saying you can stop it totally, because you probably can’t but isn’t it worth trying to at least stop some of it?

Through the bullying I experienced, everything inside of me got depressed pretty quick, lonleyness was my safest and best friend. I know what it’s like and there must be other people that are like me, but I am beating the bullies, I am saying stop to all of the memories of hurt and fear.

I'm saying, you can too. I am not saying that violence, or self-destruction is the answer because we all know that they doesn’t solve anything. But you can’t let them get away with it, make sure something is done, tell a teacher, tell your parents, tell as many people as you can, so they can help you. If nothing is done just keep telling, until someone gets the message. You have to fight your way through this life, and you don’t want to be miserable for the rest of your life, so remember you can beat it. You are strong enough, just listen to that inner voice of yours. And stand and be proud.

I hope that this has helped, and this is only my point of view and I respect that everyone else has other opinions than I do. So I am just trying to give my opinion and what has helped for me. I hope it helps even just a little bit.

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Here is a video that I think fits the message that we are trying to send!

Click HERE and watch a video on bullying that hopefully sends a message to you!

~D~
Dorothyl@womensselfesteem.com
womensselfesteem.com

Posted: 5:36 PM, 12/2/2007 in Abuse and Survival

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ABUSE! VICTIM !!!! How do you spell it?

THIS IS HOW I SPELL IT!

A = Attack

B = Barbaric

U = Uninvited

S = Surreal

E = Evil

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V = Violated

I = Innocent

C = Crushed

T = Taken

I = Inconceivable

M = Mind-altering

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I am going to share a few unedited facts or rather thoughts that I am compelled to share. If you are looking for a positive upbeat article, then you had better walk away now. This article will not be the pleasantry that you might be expecting.

Why should I edit, even word my thoughts with any respect or standards, when I am addressing an abuser? This article is being written on behalf of every victim in this world.

My first thought goes out to those parents that marry someone other than your babies mommy/daddy!

Do you watch out for your child?

Do you make sure that the man that you have fallen in lust, love or just married for food and shelter is not raping your child?

Do you listen to your child when she screams out at night through nightmares of being hurt?

Do you even care?

If I sound malicious or angry with my thoughts, you are so correct. I am angry, I am mad as hell, I am even prepared to step out and challenge anyone that allows or ignores abuse.

How many of you readers out there have abused a child?

How many of you readers have lusted a child less than half your age?

How many of you readers have verbally abused your wife?

How many of you readers are right now tabbing another page with pornographic photos of young teens?

How many of you readers are screaming or hitting your child or spouse right now?

How many of you men are sitting in a stripper bar watching a female that could be your daughter or even your granddaughter?

How many of you readers are ignoring the fact that your child is on a computer all alone with a stranger?

How many of you readers are leaving your child alone with a strange babysitter?

How many of you readers are cutting your child down to the lowest level of humiliation?

How many of you readers have taken extreme control of your loved ones to the point that they are afraid to speak?

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I am mad, angry, full of vile contempt because of the fact that after all these years and education and what is suppose to be a much more intelligent world with all of this new technology, that the world is even more in stress and abuse than ever.

Yes, sure we have always had pedophiles, abusers, mixed sex, body parts marketing, drug trafficking, religious & political wars, but damn....when does it stop?

When does the abuser realize that what he/she is doing to that child is totally WRONG and SICK!

When does the victim realize that it is not their fault?

When does the abuser finally get to live in a prison of pain, fear, loneliness, scars and hate?

When does the victim get to feel trust, and live a normal, healthy, free, life?

When does this all stop?

The more I get educated, the more I get mad! I do not feel smarter, I feel angrier and I feel embarrassed that I am even part of this human race.

Victims of abuse do not get to go to sleep at night and dream of sweet things...they dream of violation, fear, pain, mistrust, a never ending running away from an unknown perpetrator, they even continue to urinate in their pants.

Victims of abuse cannot enjoy a healthy sex life with their partners because the minute they feel they are finding that place of ecstasy, the face of an abuser invades their world and shatters what should be an intimacy between lovers.

Victims of abuse cannot deliver nor accept hugz of affection in the way they are meant to be.

Victims of abuse live a life of low self-esteem, zero self-acceptance, total self-blame, fear, confusion, and even self-hate.

Victims of abuse cannot have good memories, they cannot locate in their minds enough good memories to override their bad memories.

Victims of abuse never forget their abuser or the violation.

Victims of abuse remain a victim for many years of their lives if not their entire lives.

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Do I hate, do I feel anger towards certain humans...you bet I do.

I want all of the victims in this world that read this to stand up and hate hard...get mad...scream loudly..rebel against the crime that stole your innocence.

DO NOT allow this abuse to control your life!

Do not allow the abuser that satisfaction.

Walk away from it...toss it as far as you can.

Never give it the time of day.

Treat it as you would the most nastiest creature, because that is what the abuse is..a nasty creature.

Stomp on it...kill it...CHOOSE to let it go!

Do the one thing that your abuser would and will hate.....Discard It.....park it.....store it in a box in the farthest place you can find......dig a hole in the ground and write his name on it and bury it.

YOU are the only one that can stop your internal abuse now>

For all of you abusers out there....DAMN YOU TO HELL....BURN !!!!

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How do you spell ABUSE VICTIM?

Visit this link for recent udated facts and statistics:

Abuse facts & statistics!

~D~

Posted: 6:48 PM, 11/17/2007 in Abuse and Survival

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