Hello to everyone that enjoys reading informative articles/blogs.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world'
-Gandhi

I could not have said it better myself!
Life is definitely a challenging game. In order to supersede and survive its up's and down's we need to learn the art of change!!

To be able to survive any change at all, one must learn to be positive and strong in their decisions to change.

One must learn to step back and look inside of their box and identify where they are at and how exactly this change is going to affect them. Most changes are more difficult that not. There is not one person that can predict life's changes. This statement tells you a very strong point. The point being, that you are not alone in the game of challenge of change.

Change can be viewed as a very monstrous challenge in ones life. It can also be viewed as a challenge to break old habits or take a very clear & concise look at what the heck one is doing with their lives. A much needed wake up call so to speak.

In order to live to experience life with a healthy and positive outlook, we have to accept the fact that everything around us changes, all the time and without notice. Once you have reached the point where you can accept, it is time to adapt to how it has affected the world around you.

You only have control over your own mind, and for some of us, well that remains to be seen.

You have no control over nature such as, hurricanes, earthquakes, or tornado's. Life and death are two very emotion-challenging experiences we deal with throughout our lives which we cannot control.
So, the only option we have is to adapt by overcoming your fears of change and moving onward & upward.  It is up to you!

Adapting to change or accepting change is like every other thought we control in our minds. It costs nothing, it does have positive benefits if you use positive strategies to accept change. Once you have accepted change, then you will have the control that you will need to move forward.

http://www.womensselfesteem.com Hello everyone. My thoughts today are going to focus on understanding low self-esteem. We read a lot of insightful words everywhere telling the sufferers how to overcome their negative thoughts through positive thoughts. This is all very well and good, except we seem to be overlooking how to help the people involved with the sufferers. How to help them understand what really is behind the feelings of low self-esteem and just how much it does trap a persons mind in a state of paralysis. I am writing this article in hopes to increase awareness and inform partners and family members that are involved with a person that is suffering from low self-esteem. I have had many requests for this type of information which is a good thing. It shows that there is more support and genuine people out there working to help others find a happy place. It also tells me that all of the information available today is not being read by closed minds nor is it going unwarranted.   I am going to refer to the sufferer of low self-esteem as the receiver and the involved party, as the giver. The giver will be able to recognize many of the following symptoms and actions as will the receiver. Low self -esteem : -feeds on ones sensitivity level -makes you feel inferior to almost every other person -will force you into a feeling of smallness and loneliness -will magnify even the slightest body imperfection when you look in the mirror -blocks any strength that may try to invade its negativity -deters you from accepting new challenges or ideas -will make you feel undeserving of any positive relationships -makes you doubt any attempts made by others to free your mind -will put you outside of life, watching it go by without you -continues to keep your thoughts in a stuck position -makes you avoid all social events or gatherings of any kind -makes worry your best friend -will lock your sight behind negative eyes -avoids any understanding of how to feel good about you -will have you already defeated in your mind even before you attempt one step forward -makes you paranoid of every ones intentions -will make you mold in order to fit others expectations For the most part, those of you that suffer from low self-esteem, low self-worth or insecure feelings know that it makes you feel very small and almost invisible most of the time. These uncontrollable fears will bring you to your knees when they are in control of your mind. Low self-esteem can make a person shrink in seconds. One minute you will be feeling on top of the world and it will only take one wrong look, gesture or compliment by another to crash that feeling of security. Even when this look, gesture, or compliment is not given in a negative context, but is actually being given in the up-most positive intention, the receiver will not be able to hear it that way. Immediately the negative filters will take over and distort each syllable. At this point the giver's frustration will grow immensely with the receiver, due to their non-ability to understand that the receiver's interpretation is all confused. For example, the giver may feel that a compliment is necessary and it should do the trick. After all if it were reverse, the giver would surely appreciate it. Unfortunately, the giver is forming a conclusion through his/her own eyes and thought process. This is where so much confusion is seeded on both parts. The person suffering from low self-esteem cannot interpret the givers thoughts as the giver does. In many cases, the giver will bend over backwards trying to sway the receiver out of his/her mood by again thinking in terms of how he/she would react. The giver must stop thinking in those terms. The giver SHOULD begin to ALLOW the receiver to share his/her fears with them freely. Once the receiver feels that they can release certain fears without judgement, or being made to feel even weaker, then and only then will they be able to work inward on his/her issues.To be able to unleash the negative thoughts is a very important step towards freedom of low self-esteem. The giver cannot fix these fears, nor can these fears be threatened away by demanding comments. The giver can in fact help through kindness and patience. Positive actions and positive environments are a must when trying to help one overcome feelings of insecurities and uncertainties. Show concern and love in all aspects of the receivers life, hence making them feel important. Feeling like one belongs and is cared for is also a very good strategy in helping one overcome the loneliness of low self-esteem. Magnifying ones humor, ones ability to enjoy the small things in life will also help to strengthen ones low self-esteem. Try to keep the mood light and optimistic as much as possible. Promote acceptance in everything that the receiver does when it is positive. Positive feelings spread fast but so do negative feelings. Most receivers will wait for the first opening of a negative space because it is a familiar feeling which is another downside of feeling of low self-esteem. The giver should also recognize the receiver's potentials and overemphasize their potential for success. Also the giver must steer the receiver into following their hopes and dreams, whatever they may be. Taking time together and exercising visualization of those dreams and goals is a very effective. I know it sounds like I am telling the giver to spend a lot of time putting the receiver on their priority list, well I am in fact saying just that. I have run into a very insightful saying many times in my research and it is this:, "anything worth having, does not come easy" If you truly want to help someone, it will take time and much effort in order to do that. It is time and effort that does not go unrewarded though. A person that suffers from low self-esteem is really crying out for help through many of the symptoms that you have read above. Low self -esteem can also make a person act overbearing and seem like an attention seeker, when they are really just trying to gain strength. They just are going about it in all the wrong ways. Beware of the type of person that will use their issues for their own personal gain. There are those that have been known as copy-cats. Which means they will feed off of others through a false, "poor me" attitude. Positive actions create positive reactions. Use that thought as your guide in understanding how to help others overcome their inner battles. I will end my thoughts with this: "What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson ~D~

http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Hey there people of the world!

It is a rainy, cold day here in Sunny Florida, so I am going to enlighten you yet again with a few of my thoughts.

A question was sent to me in my mailbag the other day in regards to, "positive thinking" 

The question went something like this:  "is it not possible that positive thoughts are actually just a mask covering the ugliness of ones true thoughts and feelings, and does a person that spends so much time trying to think positive not eventually burn out anyway and end up even more depressed because they now have no where else to go for intervention?"

Hmmmm........Is positive thinking, true or false eh!?

I gave that question a bit of thought in order to answer it without any doubt left in this persons mind and here is what I had to say:

Positive thinking is like anything else we need in order to maintain a balance in our lives. Just because one works on bettering their ability to transform negative thoughts or feelings into positive ones, does not mean that they are avoiding the issues that are causing them to have these negative vibes.

When we retrain our minds to help defend our well-being through positive thinking, it is in-fact helping us learn a better strategy that will enable us to battle our inner responses and reactions to the negative thoughts and feelings that erupt inside of us. This causing so much less aggravation and self-humiliation.

There are two ways to deal with daily issues and challenges, one being through positive thinking which will give us strength to handle whatever the issue at hand is or two being through negative thinking will drain our energy which in turn lowers our strength in this daily battle leaving us feeling powerless and totally unable to deal with any of the issues at hand.

Positive thinking does not put one in a position of feeling like a failure in the battle of negative wars, it in fact strengthens ones mind each and every time it is practised.

Yes, there are days that we will feel like no matter how much energy we are putting forth into positive thoughts, that we are going 2 steps backwards. In this situation, it is time to take a look at the positive thoughts that we are using and perhaps exchange them for new ones.

Negative thoughts will work overtime to find loopholes in our fight to stay positive. This is why we must continue to find new ways of positive thinking, whether it be through thoughts and memories of good times one day, pictures of happy things the next or good music another day.

It is no different than exercising, our bodies/minds will reach a plateau if we continue the same workout routine.

 If we continue to take the same medications, our bodies will build its own immunities to reverse its effects.

Our thoughts need to be continuously empowered by positive affirmations all the time.

We shower every day to remove the dirt from our bodies and we eat every day to replenish our diets.

There is nothing is our breathing, living life that can maintain itself without some effort from us.

Positive thoughts are just as important to ones well-being as food. It is necessary to replenish our positive thoughts to nurture our ability to be able to win the battles of negativity in our lives.

So many of our issues in life such as low self-esteem, low self-worth, jealousy, the need to control others, and even how we deal with a bad hair day, all boil down to how we are able to control our thoughts which always determine the responses and/or our interpretations of situations.

Positive thinking is a definite key to change the thoughts that also create fear.

One of my first positive suggestive thoughts is, "Just Let It Go".

In psychological terms letting go means: I accept what is; I may not like it, but I can accept it. I relinquish my need to control. Letting go gives me room to grow. I do not have to trouble myself with obsessing about it. I have no need to be manipulative and play games. I can trust that a power greater than I will handle the details. This may not be what I need to hold on to; it’s not really in my best interest. My heart must learn to give and receive freely, joyously, and without expectations.
*** LETTING GO is NOT about accepting defeat, quitting, giving up, giving in, resigning, copping out. It has nothing to do wit loosing the battle or waving a white flag.  It is about choosing your battles. You choose which battle you want to fight or just let go.

 There are certainly going to be days when we are either not feeling well for whatever reason, we are tired or just to distracted to be able to keep our positive affirmations in tact. Those are days when we just say, this is just a bad day and it will be better tomorrow.

There is not a single person on this earth that can say that they have never had one of those days. We do not live in a perfect world and no-one can stay on top of things every day. So to know this fact is to be very well prepared for those days we feel like we are struggling to hang on to our positive thoughts.

 It is OK, to just say, yes it is a bad day. If we allow a bad day to push us into a feeling of loss, then we need a good kick in the butt. We are not alone on those bad days and when we are in one of those days, we should focus on what good days we have been fortunate enough to have had. Sometimes we need a real bad day to refresh our memories as to how good we have had it, and a reality check never hurts, if anything it keeps us on top of the game.

Here are a few positive thoughts and little blurbs that we should think about everyday in order to keep our positive thoughts strong.

-Pursue Your Dreams.

-It's All In Your Head.

-Know who you are.

-To be or not to be...it is your decision.

-Listen to your inner self.

-Embrace the power of positive thinking.

-Think away from negative thoughts.

-Don't worry, be happy.

-Just do it anyway.

-It's all about the attitude.

-Be your BEST friend.

-Positive thoughts = positive results.

-Create your own affirmations.

-Understand & Live your affirmations.

-Practise Powerful affirmations:= Power of the mind + Affirmations (positive statements made about oneself)
-In life, you will fall, it is not whether you fall again, it is whether you get up each time that will determine your direction.

-Smilz are free.

-Live life like it is meant to be lived.

-Live and let live.

-Huggzzz & smilz are good medicine.

-Negative thoughts will not change things, just make you feel bad.

-No-one cares if you decide to choose to feel negative.

-You hurt only yourself through choosing negative thoughts.

There are so many ways to maintain ones positive thoughts, my website is overflowing with ways and real stories that people have sent in order to help others that feel like they will never get there.

Please take a few minutes and visit my site. What can you lose?

www.womensselfesteem.com

Its your mind and your well being, not mine!!   You choose!

Stay right and stay the course !!

Huggzzzzzzz ~D~

http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Good Day one and all!

I hope that everyone out there in our very challenging world is keeping a positive outlook on life or at least making an honest attempt at it.

Keeping a positive outlook on life generally means that we should;  have a healthy self-esteem, be able to smile with genuine confidence, and have a very good inner vision of self-worth, stuff like that.

Stuff, when we put it all in one word spells self-acceptance!

The kind of stuff that when not in tact or nourished correctly creates the negative issues that plague so many women today.

Self-acceptance seems to be a huge key that unlocks the doors to all the positive stuff. Unfortunately this key is not so easily found in women today.

So many women look at themselves in the mirror and spend more time looking for flaws or what they need to hide or fix. Rarely do we meet a person that actually looks in the mirror and sees only good stuff. Even the so-called perfect people never find true self-acceptance. Why do you think all these perfect fashion models and movie stars spend so much time and money on cosmetic surgery, personal trainers and private dietitians? The same reason we look in the mirror every day and frown, we lack that key to self-acceptance.

Imagine being told that we cannot have this job due to our age, body type or we have to get surgery and make this bigger or that smaller. This is not something that most of these women would do if they were not making a lot of money.

When did women begin to look in the mirror and frown?

Are women like this because all of a sudden body perfection and looks are the "in" thing?

Hmmmm.... I have read that women way back in, "the cave man days" were left alone together to wait for the return of their mates who were the hunters. This is where women learnt the fine art of socializing.

Women were also one of many in a group that belonged to one man. According to history, it was reasoned that a women's menstrual cycle created the need for this arrangement. This is where women learnt to compare and compete against one another. 

The man hunter spent many days and weeks if necessary hunting alone and did not have time to learn the art of socializing. To men it was all very simple, hunt to eat, eat to live.

Men were never in a group of more than one man to a women. The art of competing and comparison was never something they had to deal with.

We can think about that and the answer to," When did women begin to look in the mirror and frown?",  is fairly obvious. It also says that today's media and fads are not the reason for a lack of self-acceptance.

Hmmm... In my opinion, I can buy a part of what that little bit of history is saying, but not all of it. I have noticed in just the past 3 years just how much media and fads have began to work against the 'normal female and her self-acceptance.

I have also read that people are now talking more openly and proudly of cosmetically changing their bodies and looks.

Women with breast implants have no problem showing them off or letting complete strangers touch them because to them it is equivalent to a person sporting a tattoo, nothing more. But to the partner of the man catching a glance or sneaking a feel, it is a very real violation of privacy.

What we have here is two different thoughts on private versus public.

Through this change of whats private and whats not, women are being separated which is forcing them into two minds. Women use to be able to stick together. They felt that there was a certain equality and respect for one another.

I know that this thought may make some shake their heads and say whatever, or that's such a minor worry, but when you spend as much time caring and helping women that suffer issues concerning a lack of self-acceptance, it is more than a whatever. It is a real fear and a real problem that will in time ruin their lives and rob them of a quality of life they deserve to have.

Self-acceptance has to come from within, one has to be able to love themselves and treat themselves with a thing called RESPECT!

I have asked this question many times to women, "Would you treat your best friend as unkindly as you treat yourself?"

After some thought, it is like someone has turned on much needed light. A light that allows them to see a newness in understanding of what is important and what  is not.

They can see that they are treating themselves as an enemy, not as a friend.

I have seen women allow themselves to feel self-acceptance as long as the world around them complied in a certain way. They in-fact are depending on an outside element to determine whether they should feel good about themselves. This is as bad as being dependant on a drug or alcohol. An addiction of another kind.

In order to have true self-acceptance, we must feel good about ourselves no matter what our partners chose to say or do. What they chose is not of our control nor is it because of how we feel about ourselves.

In order to have self-acceptance we should not use how others see us as the end result of how we should view ourselves.

Self-acceptance cannot be reached through striving for perfection either, another fallacy that women feel is the key. Falling into the trap of thinking that being perfect at everything will make us perfect beings, is so wrong. All this does is create eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, suicide, divorce and even sexual dysfunction, it never creates a positive self-acceptance. Falling into the perfectionism pit also will set you up for a life of anxiety and the continuous fear of failure. Striving for perfection can become an addiction also, one that will only lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction.

To be able to accept ones-self truly and honestly, is to not have to depend on anything or anyone to like yourself. Dependencies will always crash and self-destruct. You will never be able to control that dependency. It will always be putting your self-acceptance at the mercy of another.

I will end my thoughts with this little quote that has come to mean a lot to me!

 “When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one's lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.

The Lesson: If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.”
 maalanyc Sasha Azevedo

Huggzzzzzzzz ~D~

D's Latest article "Is There a Quick Fix for Low Self-esteem?,is available at http://www.womensselfesteem.com/articles/article/1967110/49920.htm

http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Hello from Florida. The sun has been shining here and things are beginning to smell like summer!

As we all know summer is a time when we wear less and less clothing. Marketeers are out there and on every television channel trying to sell the latest quick-fix diet so that we can feel comfortable with our bodies as we sport the summer looks.

I feel that the whole issue regarding Body Image has gone beyond our control. For those of us trying to reverse the thin is in trend, it remains an uphill climb.

I posed a question in my forum a while back and here are some views that were presented to me on other women's thoughts on Body Image.

This was my question:

I am doing some research for an article that I feel driven to write.
It is about very young to teens to grown women and how society may or may not affect their body image.
I would luv to read your thoughts on the subject. My thoughts are that we must teach our daughters at a very early age how important a healthy mind and a healthy body is to their own acceptance. Instead of what society views as the perfect female. Also it would be very profitable to teach our sons this as well.
Considering that almost all of the adult sites and commercials are mainly run by men.
In my mind we can evolve this horrible, negative body image confusion. But we must hit every possible avenue to do so. So, we start with the babies. We teach them, and we give them a much more positive self-acceptance world to live in.

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

Now a few comments in reply to my question:

-(Perny, WSE member)
Interesting topic D. Europeans don't seem to have the body hang ups that are alive and well in the USA and western countries in general. For one thing, nudity, nude bathing and nude sun bathing are acceptable, popular pass times in Europe for All ages. It appears when the 'sexuality' aspect of nudity is absent, people have a healthier concept of the human body. Young children know what changes are going to take place in their body shapes as they age. In the West, nudity of the older or elderly is considered perverse in respect to 'money making' images. In the West when discussing nudity, or partial nudity a catch phrase of 'sex sells' is often employed. But the kind of nudity exposed in the West conjures sexual attentions because the types of nudity most seen are sensual and explicit sexual poses. People in the West are conditioned to expect their visual encounters w/nudity to be of a sexual nature with the subject matter consistently youthful and the bodies toned and fitting into a media mode geared toward making money. I'd have to say Capitalism has formed the opinions of "ideal" nudity in the West which of course has imposed a totally unrealistic public opinion concerning what is beautiful, perfect and acceptable to view.  

-(Italiangirl, WSE member)

   Perny, you say that in Europe they are more uninhibited about their bodies and it is true. I just want to make an observation, I live in northern Italy and I have noticed that women here are extremely obsessed with their body image. I wear a size 10 and am 5'8" and to some Italians I am considered plus size! In job ads they specify "Bella presenza" which means you have to have a nice appearance...it is outright discrimination. Obesity is becoming an issue in Europe as well and there are young girls who are dieting at very early ages.

-(Val, WSE member)

Hey Dorothy,
This article could lead into a "series" I have somewhat of the body dysmorphic disorder (think that's what it's called). I can not a difference in my body no matter what my weight. Seriously! I've weighed anywhere from 105 lbs to almost 200lbs. Can never see the difference! I am sure this has affected my daughter's perception of her own body who thinks (at 18 yrs old) she's over weight in a size 3 and just yesterday my 5 yr old niece stood up in the chair and lifted her shirt and announced that she was getting fat. Isn't it time to break this horrible cycle?
Love Val

-(Judy, WSE member)

Val, why do you think that you feel the same no matter the actual size. I've pondered this too, about myself. Maybe it was from hearing from a very early age "my she's big for her age isn't she?" The sad thing of it is I wasn't "BIG" I was tall. A difference at least in my mind. But needless to say I grew up assuming that there was something "wrong" with me. I stopped being tall in High School but the damage was done. I can remember staying up until early hours of the morning and sewing a new outfit for school. Everything had to be just so. How sad is that. What people will do for acceptance... And who defines womanhood anyway. We are so diverse who gets to set the standard that not everyone can live up to? I spent most of my life trying to figure it out (haven't come up with the answers yet) and in the process being what felt like gender neutral. I think it felt safe. How did body size get to be the standard for being worthwhile? Not only do we treat people according to appearance but we do it to ourselves. I just didn't know the extent of self-deprivation and level of self acceptance I had been indulging into until I lost 6o lbs. Do I treat myself differently? Absolutely...sad but true. I'm not sure what my point exactly is but...maybe a key is to treat ourselves better so that we break the cycle. How many times when we are feeling badly (depressed, rejected, hurt, etc.) will we not think twice about eating that second helping or trudging to the store in stretched out sweats and a t-shirt. Why do we punish ourselves? We wouldn't do that to anyone else but ourselves. I can remember a time where the essentials of my wardrobe consisted of navy and gray sweat pants and x-large men's t-shirts in every color imaginable and if it was cold I'd put on the sweatshirt. I don't even own a pair now. The temptation would be too great to regress. I guess the balance lies somewhere between vanity and neglect. Not buying into the extreme illusion the media and Hollywood has created and definitely not indulging in the negligence we inflict upon ourselves sometimes, either one unhealthy. I'm not sure this had anything to do with anything, but I got on a roll.... Judy   -(crackerjack, WSE member) My husband puts a lot of emphases on being skinny. He totally won't have anything to do with me if i am overweight. I have a lot of problems with my body image because of it. I feel like if I'm not the way he wants me to be. He's not attracted to me physically. I am 5'3 and weigh 119, I still feel like I am not good enough for him. When I weighed 110 he was all over me. Now, he has sort of lost that same attraction to me that he use to have 10 lbs lighter. I'm all screwed up with my body image and I want to change. Please help!! Cindy(crackerjack)   -( Pheonix, WSE member)

Body image is the ability to focus on being healthy, not fitting into the size 3 pants seen in the shop window. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. I had gone up to 190lbs. on a 5'6 1/2" frame and it felt awful. I slept constantly and it lowered my self-esteem even further. I am an emotional eater so it didn't help that my life seemed to be falling apart around me. I took the initiative and started to diet. Severe dieting. I barely ate anything. The weight came off rapidly and I ended up really sick for months. Very weakened and more tired than before. Due to the fact that my muscles had fed my body, I hurt my back and was on the couch for a while. I was sick of being sick. People didn't tell me how good I looked but how sick I looked. After months of depressive behavior, crying and sleeping, I got it together. I started to exercise, 10 minutes daily and ate small portions of food 6 times a day. It has been over a year now and I am in better health than I have ever been. SMALL STEPS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE. I am at a very healthy 135lbs. and my husband has even got on the bandwagon. He too had gained a lot of weight but I set the example for him and now he is in great shape. Some days I could kick him for being more dedicated to exercising and healthy eating than me, but I have lag days too and I don't let them get me, so long as I get back into to groove the day after. Healthy weight is not about starving to death. It is a balance of simple foods and exercise daily. You have to build up slowly and not get discouraged. It doesn't happen over night but the long term gain is wonderful. Take care of yourselves, Phoenix -(Mel1,WSE member) The world can be such a dreary place sometimes, can't it? To me, there are two realities. The first is worldly, created by mankind and seriously flawed. The second is the truth. The truth is that it doesn't matter a jot whether a woman (or a man) is short, tall, fat, thin, big breasted or flat-chested. It doesn't matter how old she is or how many wrinkles she has for this is not who she is. Women are nurturing, caring, intelligent, humane, intuitive, gentle, strong, flexible and incredibly wise. By keeping us focused on all the surface realities, the world keeps us from being the powerful, creative force we truly are. Naomi Wolf in The Beauty Myth refers to the Iron Maiden - it's the template we are squeezed into and agonize over. It's cruel, this mould we're being forced into and is every bit as oppressive as the original iron maiden, which was an instrument of torture used to restrain women (often accused as witches) during the middle ages. It's now become a psychological instrument of torture. All over the world people die of hunger; women and children are abused and murdered; the very environment we live in is being poisoned; disease - even preventable disease - is rife. The atrocities are endless. Meanwhile millions of dollars are being paid out for people to look good. Our highest paid are in the glamour professions. Research money that should go towards preventing pain and death is being directed into 'cutting edge' cosmetic surgery, new and better wrinkle creams and cosmetics, the fashion fiasco and new and better toys for the boys at the top. How silly are we to play the game? We will add not one important thing to this world by being 'beautiful' as defined by the media and society and sadly by so many of our own nearest and dearest. I'm not sure who is in charge of what's going on but I do know that the attitudes that have been created have filtered through and damaged our men. Most don't even realize they're under someones else's control but they need to be made aware. Behaviours that are dubbed 'innate' are simply shaped by society and culture. Let's hear no more about 'that's just the way men are.' That's selling us all short. I believe that if enough women started to say no to the status quo; if we started thinking about and acting on the things that are truly important, then the world would be turned upside down by our benevolent power. Our physical size and shape do not matter. While we are obsessed and miserable we will never come into the fullness of who we are. Let's not let them - whoever they are - do that to us! Love Mel   -(Pinkvibes,WSE member) I truly agree with Dorothy. Cosmetic surgery can only take you as far as the physical makeover could go but it won't change a thing inside. At the end of the day when you lie down in bed, even with all the enhancements you've been through, you'd still feel like nothings changed. All the insecurities would still continue to shake you inside. No amount of surgery would ever change that. If there's anything that needs to be improved, it has to be the self-esteem because once you have that everything else will follow. Once you feel good inside, the beauty beneath will just come out to the surface naturally. And this ones way better than any physical makeover you could ever think of. Plus you don't have to spend a penny!   Thank you Ladies for sharing your thoughts on how this world is being twisted and warped by all the shallow idealism's. What people do not understand is that without someone to buy a product, there will be no profit margin for them. So we are in fact being used, our minds are being brainwashed in order for theses marketers to get rich on our inability to stay REAL. Now is time to stop allowing the unimportant idealism's of this world, to control who we are and what we feel. We can do this if we stay together and say NO to the advertisers and commercial world.   Huggzzzz~D~