Hi Darren,

 I know this is essentially just hot air coming to you now, but I suppose that I'm just trying to save you some time. Of course, things like this you simply have to learn. Maybe hearing it enough will help you learn it faster.
 

People base their self-esteem on a whole lot of things during their lives. The only problem comes when they base it all on one thing. Then, when that one thing fails, they have nothing left to support their esteem. Yes? Well, the trick comes when you find several things to base your esteem on. Maybe you have a boy, but you also have your friends, and you also have your singing, and you also have all your other talents, hobbies, and ambitions. What happened to those? You can't let getting a guy be the beginning and ending of your life because you'll end up letting his affection for you substitute for your lack of self-confidence. Then, when he leaves, you won't have any self-confidence.
 

Being gay and getting a man shouldn't be your only focus in life. That way you'll only ever find temporary satisfaction. You have to build yourself into other things - your involvement in the community, your relationships with friends and family, and doing well at the things you like to do.
 Do you realize how selfish you seem to your friends when you are man-centric? You don't act like you care about what they're saying - you're just waiting for the next time you'll get your chance to complain about never finding somebody. I know it's hard, but do your best to talk about something else. Complain about school instead. Talk about music. Ask Questions About Them!
 

Friendship is a two way street - and you generally get more by giving more.
 

Anyway, talking about and dwelling on certain issues is actually a kind of mental addiction. As you focus on it less and less and increase your interest in other things, you'll feel better about yourself - even while man-less. Even ask straight people - they got through the same thing.
 

Anyway, I know this is just a whole lot of noise right now, but people like to date people who are self-confident, so that's something you have to establish Before you can find someone to stay with forever.

***Eric, you probably laugh while reading this. Do you remember how I used to be? How there was nothing else but being gay? I can't believe all the time and energy I put into being depressed. It's not worth finding somebody if you haven't found yourself yet, people!

The step out of depression is such a subtle shift. Sometimes we even escape it all at once - one realization and we're free of the fog that we've been dwelling under. WE FEED THAT FOG, PEOPLE. We get in ruts of thinking and we think specific thoughts in order to make the fog denser. It releases chemicals in us that we like, definitely an accuired taste, but we feed our depressions in order to get more. We hope that someone will take pity on us and free us from the fog, but no one can move it but us! Stop reminding yourselves of the bad things and remind yourselves of the good! You might even have to rewrite what you remember of your history. There were good times and you know it. Take hold of them and ignore the bad things. Train yourselves to think how you want to think. It's possible.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL

YOU ARE IN CONTROL

YOU ARE IN CONTROL

So don't sweat the small stuff.