So my girlfriend proposed her thesis for her masters today.  It went great and everything went okay.  Well that is except for our relationship.  I don't know.  God I am getting tired of this rollercoaster that happens every time she gets stressed out. 

Yesterday afternoon I came home from school fully expecting to pick up my GF and then take my car and go to school and pick up her daughter and then take the GF to school for her night class.  Well with her thesis coming up she decided to skip her night class.  That was fine by me.  I needed to study for my CSC200 class that I have a test in tomorrow.  So I played a little Everquest 2 and then was about to study when she asked me to listen to her presentation and time her.  I did, very patiently I might add, and at the end of it we went and watched some TV.  Well she wanted to work on her presentation a little more, which she did tell wee hours in the morning.  I went to bed knowing I had to get up early in the morning.  She got up before me and was working on her presentation while I was getting ready to go to school.  That is where this day from hell started.  I didn't do anything out of the normal but according to her I was distracting and annoying.  She actually stopped and waited for me to leave the apartment.  Then my day went well, I had no problems what so ever with my day all the while I was dreading going home.  Laugh, she told me that once before she got a divorce from her ex husband that she would go to school as an undergrad and when the day was over she would do anything to avoid going home because she hated her husband that much.  Suddenly I know how that feels...  I love her but I hate days like this.

Well I got home today and it was no better.  Just hell, she hadn't eaten all day which makes her really fucking crabby. Then I came home and I will admit that I hadn't written my work schedule down for the last two weeks (thought about doing it a lot but never did), well she asked me when I work.  I had to answer her that I hadn't gotten my schedule yet.  That just made me a moron, an idiot and irresponsible and that we are done with.  Then after that she tells me that she is tired because she didn't get much sleep, has a headache and threw up this morning.  I almost lost it again.  I haven’t felt my temper in along time.  My true temper.  I saw the fear in her eyes when I did almost lose it, that fear was what I felt inside of me knowing if I don't control my temper I could lose her.... I scared her.   I love her so much.   I want to do everything and anything for her.  I don't want to lose her.  I traveled 1500 miles, gave up all my friends, my family, and everything I know to be with her.  We have been through a lot, I don't want this to end over something stupid like not getting my work schedule.  I promise I will get my work schedule from this day forward.  Man....

Soo tired..