Everything But

Posted on 1/24/2006 at 1:05 PM - Post Comment

Every time I try to write about my surgery, the after affects or anything related to my weight I end up bailing out. How many ways can you say "being thinner kicks ass"?

As of today I have lost 74.5 pounds. It is becoming a number I don't throw around much, and as the number becomes bigger, I am even less comfortable stating it. Yet people, even casual acquaintances seem to feel it is appropriate to ask how much I have lost.

I don't mind the "Shona! You look great!" It's the inevitable "How much weight have you lost" that puts me just outside my comfort zone. No, that's not true... my comfort zone is WAY bigger than most.

What it does is put me in THAT position... the position of having to decide whether to get along or take a stand; be typical or unique; ignore or teach. The bitch in me screams "none of your business". The sarcastic comic in me comes back with "looks like you found it" or "and you've lost hair". The self-deprecator says "an entire eight year old and I'm still chubby!"

And it depends on who's asking as to which route I take. With those very close to me I tell them the number. To those that I don't feel like leading at the moment I generally avoid answering with a "What's most important is that I feel so much healthier". But every now and then I just have to try to show the asker how to treat fat people and explain "Thank you so much for the compliment. However, I'm uncomfortable talking about such a personal thing."

I don't want to give the wrong impression. I'm not sensitive about the weight issue and I love the positive attention. Nor am I shy or self-conscious. In fact, I have an entire new comedy routine based on things related to the weight loss, like the slapping sound my hanging skin makes when I run naked (I call it applause).

So, why do I feel uncomfortable with the question? And why would I feel any need to say anything except to shout out the big number? I think I need to figure that out. I suspect my motives aren't entirely pure, perhaps even punitive.

I'll have to give that some thought. In the meantime, if someone you barely know loses a lot of weight, just say "You look great! I love your hair."