Grumpy, Dammit!

Posted on 1/30/2006 at 12:55 PM - Post Comment

I woke up grouchy yesterday. I was facing a day that wasn't appealing and I decided to just be grouchy.

I ignored my gratitude card. I looked at myself in the mirror and said "you just go ahead and be miserable". I made coffee the way I like it (2 extra scoops) and DARED anyone to say anything about it.

I took my coffee back to bed, cursing the bathroom for needing cleaning on the way past. I grumbled an answer to my husband's cautious queery as to my mood. I swear if we had a cat, I'd'a kicked it.

I spent the next hour watching the the brutally edited "Bad Boys" on TV and just being miserable. I even ignored my sister's call because I just didn't wanna talk to her.

I was starting to wonder if my mammoth efforts to stay positive and happy were worth it. This was the first day in ages where I'd been up for 3 hours and didn't give one moment's consideration to everyone else's feelings. It was nice to wallow in my misery.

Wasn't it?

I mean, it's a lot of work to be happy.

Ok, so I had a bit of a headache now that I didn't have when I woke up.

And it was hard not to notice how much deeper the wrinkles on my forehead are when I scowl.

Plus, I just kept forgetting to be grumpy. Caught myself laughing twice and sending good thoughts to a friend that had been struggling with a personal issue.

By the time the second cup of coffee was gone, I was so over being grumpy.

But I should add that the 2nd cup of was brought in by a very friendly husband, clearly worried that the world was ending. Obviously there are some benefits to the ocassional grumpy morning.

As I sat there realizing that I was no longer grouchy, I came to an understanding that it's ok to let myself by grouchy if that seemed like the thing to do. And an even bigger realization that I'm really glad I'm not grouchy a lot.

So I went out to the kitchen, made a fresh (weak) pot of coffee, cleaned the bathroom and called my sister. I faced my day with the understanding that I can do whatever the hell I want, as grumpy as I want.

But that it will give me wrinkles on my forehead.