 |
Men - Gotta love 'emPosted on 3/8/2006 at 9:56 AM - Post CommentI've lost over 85 pounds. Only 10 more to lose, then the plastic surgery which will remove another 15 pounds of skin and fat. I wonder of the boob implants will weigh much...
Things in Shona's world are... you know, the only word that really works for me these days is "surreal". It's like I'm living someone else's life. But not really, because it's the life I've always wanted, and really, thought I had.
Every single area of my life is improved. I know it's mostly because of my attitude and behaviour, but I can not deny how much easier it is to succeed in this world when you are seen as "attractive" by others.
As a fat person, I was fairly well received. I have a bubbly, outgoing personality that puts people at ease. I'm funny and smart so even those that initially discounted me for my size became to appreciate me. My flirty ways and natural sensuality even made men grow to appreciate me after they knew me for a while. Women tolerated me because I wasn't a threat to them with their men. Plus I was one of those fatties about which people would say "She has such a pretty face. If only she lost some weight".
Being heavy didn't seem to stand in the way of my success. I went from Secretary to COO in 3 years, earning a 6-figure salary and bonuses bigger than a secretary's entire annual earnings. I had lots of friends and a great family, so I was clearly successful. But there was so much more to come.
I want to share some recent experiences with you.
The Handsome Insurance Rep. Last week I met with one of our providers. I've known Kent for years, but hadn't seen him since before the surgery. Kent is gorgeous and has always played up his advantage. For years he's been greeting me with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek, figuring his good looks and charm will work wonders with this 40-something chubby. I enjoyed the flirtation, but am not nearly shallow enough to be swayed by his approach. But I let him think what he needed to think as I negotiated our share of the premium (tripled our share and he still reminds me of the grief he got from his boss).
Kent was coming for a long overdue visit. We talk onthe phone and by email very regularly since I had given him my new company's business. He walked up to me as I stood at the counter. He smiled his extremely handsome smile and said "Hi! I'm here to see Shona." I smiled and said "Hey Kent!"
He recognized my voice and I wish I could have been video taping his face. In a split second I saw shock, confusion and I think, fear! He quickly regained his composure and I came around the counter to shake his hand. I didn't get a kiss this time. In fact, he spent our entire meeting seeming nervous and awkward. At one point I laughed and said "Kent, it's still me. Why are you being so weird?" He avoided eye contact and said "I just had no idea..."
After our meeting, I had to leave for a lunch meeting. My co-worker (and long time best friend) Ray and Kent stayed to work out some details of the new business. When I returned, Kent had left and Ray said "Shona, I'm so sorry for not noticing how thin you've become. I guess I just never thought of you any other way but beautiful." (see why he's my best friend?) "But Kent's comments reminded me of how much you've changed and I want to apologize for not telling you every day how great you look." I told him that was the best compliment EVER.
Three times in the last 2 weeks, people I have known for years but not seen for months have said "I didn't recognize you"! and I liked it.
My Mentor. I have talked frequently about my last boss and how he changed my life. He was the one that saw potential in me and gave me opportunities no one ever had before. Of course, he was a smart man and his faith in me made him VERY rich. For the 42 months I ran his company, the profits increased steadily to over $1.8 million per month. Then he sold it for $50million.
Anyway, I've stayed in close contact with Tim since the sale and our relationship has grown to be a wonderful friendship. But we had a 90 day stretch where he didn't see me in person. Last Wednesday I dropped by his office unexpectedly for a visit. I confess that I was there in person to show off my new shape, as we could have caught up on the phone.
Tim is a very unusual man and I can rely on him to have unusual responses. I walked into his office, did a little twirl and said something silly. Tim stood up from his desk and walked around me in a circle - twice! And I heard it for the second time that week "I had no idea!" I laughed and said "Of what?"
He said "I had no idea you were so tiny! Look at you. A Fart in a Mitt. Your head looks bigger." LMAO! Big head? Then he sat down, did his weird and wonderful deep eye contact and said "So, is it different now?" and we proceeded to babble for the next hour about how different things are for me now.
I can always count on him for insight. He said "How do you feel about the way men are treating you now?" I kept it light and laughed about actually getting checked out. But he was determined to have a serious conversation and said "You are going to have a harder time now. You are extremely intimidating now that you are the whole package. I mean, you were intimidating enough just being smart, funny and poweful. Now you're too much. I'm scared of you."
I would be so sad if our relationship went backwards and I told him that. I reminded him that I am literally going to be "the woman Tim built" after the plastic surgery because money he had given me after the sale was going to pay for it. I already attribute my attitude and success to his teachings, so I am what he made me.
He promised to work hard to not change the way he acted around me. Then he flirted with me for the first time ever! I called him on it and he blushed so red I thought his face was going to burst. Then, just because I'm a monster, I stood up, put my hands on his desk and leaned over enough to show a little cleavage, and said "You can flirt with me any time." I winked and walked away. I hope he watched my ass as I left.
Vanity? Of all the things that have happened as a result of weight loss, I chose to share men's reactions today. Why? Mostly because I'm so surprised with how it makes me feel.
Like Tim, I don't have typical thought patterns. I think that's why we get along so well. We are both weird and people don't really know what to make of us.
I always knew that men would treat me differently thin. And I've shared in this blog that I was worried it would piss me off. But it doesn't piss me off. I like it. I like it for two reasons.
First, of course, because I love the positive attention. Who doesn't like to be told they are beautiful? Of course, I've always felt fairly beautiful, but now I'm TINY! They actually say that word! TINY! (sorry - got excited there). I have become quite vain and no longer leave the house without heels and make-up. I can't wait to have my surgery and see how people react to me then.
But better than the huge ego boost is the power I feel. I always assumed I would respond to comments on my weight loss with a fake smile and total distain. But actually the smile is real and I feel powerful.
My secret identity is still quite secret. But now instead of the cute, funny, round woman that becomes the no-nonsense, head-chopping executive in the boardroom, I'm the cute, funny, sexy woman who becomes that same monster when going after something I want.
You need a secret weapon when you are in business.
Men of the world, you do not disappoint. You are even easier to manipulate now than ever. But I promise to use my power only for good. Unless you piss me off.
|
|
