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My New PassionPosted on 3/10/2006 at 1:17 PM - Post CommentI'm a very passionate person. Anything I do, I do with significant UMPH. All or nothing, baby!
Along the way, I've discovered that I'm especially passionate about a few things:
- My family, of course. More specifically, being the advocate for my boy and a role model for my daughter.
- Leading. Not work, as work can be just a job. But the leading aspect has fueled a passion in me for the past 6 years or so. If I'm not leading, I'm not fulfilled. Although I can follow if I believe in the leader.
- Women's enlightenment is a passion that flairs and wanes. Most of the time I am passionate about sharing my secrets of success with women. But all too often I become so frustrated with the gender that it's all I can do to simply exist with them.
But I have a new passion. ACTING.
I've always been a performer and need to be the centre of attention on a regular basis (not all the time though). Comedy is my natural forte, but I know I can do more than that.
A few months ago I took a chance and auditioned for our community theatre's next play, Steel Magnolias. I generally avoid situations where I'm not pretty darned confident I'll succeed. So this was very near the outer edge of my my comfort zone. And low and behold, I was cast as Ouiser, a 66 year old grumpy woman who spends her days wondering how on earth she will ever survive the fools around her. While I am rarely grumpy, I can totally relate to her frustration.
The role is small, but as with many comedies, the small role steals the show.
We have a brutal rehearsal schedule... 7 days a week, 4-5 hours each day. And I love every single minute of it! Even when Sir is yelling at us. Sir is our director. He's a genius and he's dying. This is his swan song and he wants it to be his best work.
The cast is special group. Now, as hard as I work at it, I find myself intolerant of some things. And as this cast is all women, it can be especially intolerable at times. Out of the 5 other actors in the cast, 2 I adore and consider my new good friends. 2 drive me batty. 1 is only 15 and a total sweetie, but I doubt we will keep any kind of relationship after this. But as long as I arrive at the last minute, go right on stage and avoid the pre-rehearsal hen party, I have the BEST time.
Right from the beginning Sir told us all that we were exceptionally good for amateurs. He warned us that this might not be a good thing, because he will only accept excellence now that he knows we are capable of it.
He's frustrated with one of us that isn't as good as the rest and spends a lot of time coaching her. And he badgers 2 others relentlessly about specific things they do (bad accent, weird physical nervous twitches). Young Annelle is perfect and will be a professional one day. One can't remember her lines and gets some grief. But he'd never really commented on my performance. After we do a scene, we sit for "Director's Notes" and rarely does Ouiser have any. I was called "Director's Pet" a few times because I always seemed to escape his wrath.
But I was finding it a bit frustrating because I want to do the best job possible. I would be mortified if I gave a bad performance. I've told him specifically "Sir! Make me great!". He laughed (it was scary) and made a silly comment about greatness. I knew I was doing a pretty good job. I always know my lines and blocking, have the accent down pat and the other ladies always say how funny I am on stage. But until I could hear Sir tell me I was acceptable, I couldn't rest.
So about 3 weeks ago, during Director's Notes I finally asked if there was anything I could be doing better. And the man who doesn't like to give compliments and would rather die than give a false one, says "For Godsake Shona, you're better than Shirley MacLaine was in the movie. I don't know why you didn't do this professionally. Quit being so needy." Only Sir will give you shit while giving you a compliment.
Well, after that, my budding passion became full-blown, ego-driven and unstopable. I set out to be the best Ouiser to ever step on stage. I endured Sir's annoyance as I insisted he give me homework and taught me acting techniques. I softened him up a bit with little touches that he really liked. And as he grows to love me, I am able to get him to spend a few minutes every night giving me tips.
Last night, after Act II, Scene I, Sir stood up with tears in his eyes and applauded for 3 minutes straight. Standing is not easy for him as he is very ill. And applause with tears in his eyes would never come unearned.
After we all stopped crying (ok, I didn't cry but I was moved) he told us that we were as good as any professionals he had directed (and he was a professional for years). He gave us each one compliment. Mine was "Brilliant, Shona. Simply brilliant. Your best work so far." as he held eye contact and put his hand on mine. (I'm tiny and brilliant now.)
I can not wait to do it in front of an audience. While the other 5 cluck and fuss about how nervous they are and how scared they are of doing it in front of an audience, I clap and jump up and down saying "I can't wait!!!"
I try to not spend much time considering regrets, but I have to admit I wish I had started this new hobby sooner. I love it so much and apparently I'm pretty good at it. I wonder if I have the energy to make this a more serious past time. I do plan on retiring in 5 years... perhaps it will be my next career.
I am truly one of the most blessed people on earth. Even though my life was great before, it continues to gets even better. I have fun, purpose, passion, love and excitement in my life.
And I'm brilliant.
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