I seem to be waiting for something, though I'm not quite sure what that is.

Keep wondering What is it I'm Doing, where am I going, how am I gonna get there, it's seems i'm taking baby steps towards the person I'm supposed to be... the person I'm becoming, but who is that, it doesn't look or feel like me. My reflection is very distorted.

I seem to be fixated on something invisible, while my world is crashing down around me falling in tiny pieces while more circumstances of life go by crushing them into smaller pieces.

I'm trying to rely on myself, I've recently began detaching myself from support or love, i'm shutting down, mainly to try and learn to go it alone, but the odds are against me and I do't seem to do well alone.

At the moment I'm in depressed mode, which is why I'm listening to Stevie nicks & tom petty, which is saying something. 'Stop Draggin' my heart around' If you were wondering.

My friends spent all yesterday or should I say early this morning, giving advice about my life and trying to push me in the right direction, and I spent the whole night ignoring them, I know they care and YES I should be taking their advice, but instead I decide to do things my way, which I know is wrong.

I've made so many mistakes in my life an I feel I may be making one now. but another mistake won't make a big deal of difference, one more won't break me.

I just realised I do like The Smiths, well one song which I didn't even realise was by them even though I've liked it for ages, How soon is now,  Which A Hundred reasons did  very good cover of, but my favourite version was done by The Psychedelic furs.

Anyway I'll post again very soon.