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| ...Waiting to get out. Birth of another Suicidal Teen |
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  T' WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE, MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY, WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO, IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES, OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT, CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR, IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED, AN AUSTRALIAN SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO, OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES, THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS, WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT. SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY, AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE, A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY. THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM, EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE. I COULDN'T HELP WONDER, HOW MANY LAY ALONE, ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE, IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME. THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT, A TEAR TO MY EYE, I DROPPED TO MY KNEES, AND STARTED TO CRY. THE SOLDIER AWAKENED, AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE, "SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE; I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE, MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS." THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP, I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP. I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL, AND WE BOTH SHIVERED, FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL. I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE, ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT, THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR, SO WILLING TO FIGHT. THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE, WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE." ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT. "MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT." **************************************************************************************************************** This is not my usual type of sharing in regards to self-esteem.....although I could not help but feel that by sharing this memory with all of my readers.....that it would somehow make you feel good because you did stop for one minute to remember that there are very brave and courageous people on Christmas Day that are not going to be able to share that day with their families as you and I are. Feeling god about how we think and how we do stop and remember others is a very good way to a higher self-esteem! This poem was written by an Australian Peacekeeping soldier stationed overseas. The following is his request. I think it is reasonable PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sharing this with as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to all of the service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed. ***************************************************************************************************************  DorothyL | ||
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Matters of the Heart are a True Mystery to all Involved.
In order to make a commitment to a relationship, it takes strength and trust in another. When we trust our partner and we receive trust back, it is a very nice feeling. One should never betray or play games with that trust. Those games usually get caught, and a broken trust will surely create a huge wall of communication breakdown. When you truly trust another, you are opening your heart and mind to an outsider. You are at this time very vulnerable for just about any kind of emotional attack. Confusion and misunderstandings are among those emotions now. This is why communication is so important. It is the key to opening all those doors. Without it, the doors will remained locked and one will have to work very hard to break through. It is much more productive to just talk, listen, and understand your partner. I am not saying that this will be easy, but with love in your heart, it can be done. The end results will definitely be more lasting. For every forced door, there will be a negative memory to try to bypass in the future. When doors are open with love, patience and respect, they will have only good memories to savor and smile upon in the future. Those are extremely important in tearing down those walls.
Another favorite, but not so good habit that we as humans create, is to regurgitate things over and over again. I use the word "regurgitate", because that's how I view having things being tossed back in your face. Have you ever noticed that another lovely habit (NOT) that we as humans have is to only dig up the dirt when we are in the heat of anger? We do this time and time again, because we already know that these things are a guaranteed hit. It is a very cheap and bullish way to try to win a conversation. Is that not what most communication breakdowns are? Conversation wars that end up shooting old ammunition back and forth at one another? The problem there is that noone ever wins that battle. All that is really happening is that both parties have just taken an equal part in adding more blocks to the wall of communication breakdown. Both sides lose.
This is why the power of writing is so productive. One person writes his/her thoughts down, uninterrupted, without fear of being derailed from their thoughts and with the ability to just get it all of their chest, so to speak. People pay big bucks to be told just this, so listen up! If you find that your wall of communication breakdown is starting to build, then this habit of writing letters to each other is a very good way to bypass the wall.
Do you ever feel that you are so far under that wall, that you will never be able to communicate with your partner again and just want to run away? Before you run away, think about exactly what and why you are running from. Are you running from a partner that could very well be the best thing that ever happened to you? Or are you in fact running away from your own issues that you refuse to deal with? Remember this, if it is your own demons that you fear, you will run forever. You will never be happy. You will always blame your relationship or your partner for your downfalls. Running away is a cop out. It is a true weakness in character. To stay and fight and trust that your partner will understand your troubles is a true sign of courage and one that will be greatly respected.
~D~ **************************
"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."
- Anthony Robbins "Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and hugzzz"
-Dorothy
"Some think that love is all flowers and good times, but I think that love is more than just that. Love is the bad, as well as the better, not lived alone, but a journey together. Something that only the closest can share, with communication, respect," -Anonymous | ||
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 When you do not trust in your own self as to how unique and important you are....you immediately feel less than and with that, insecurities rise up and jealousy is born. A true symptom of a lack of trust in yourself! The only way to trust easily is to let yourself do so. It is easy once you understand why you are finding it so damn hard. We are creatures of habit....habits are repetitive thoughts or actions that we fall into immediately because they are the last stored file in our thought patterns which end up being in the forefront of our brain. What this means is that the last thought or reaction stored will be the first one used when your emotions begin to rise in either a negative or positive response. Habits are something that I talk about all of the time. 'Habit' is a very small word which carries so much reality and control over our positive and negative reactions and thoughts. The word 'habit' is also difficult to accept as what causes people to stay stuck in jealousy or insecure emotional traps. It takes at least 14 days to break a habit, according to the latest researchers. Now when I say that, I mean 14 days of consistent behavior, repeated over and over on the same subject matter. That is why breaking an emotional habit is difficult. We do not run into fears and threats in a consistent manner. We basically have to discipline ourselves into a self-talk therapy every day whether we are actually challenged with one of our fears or not. In doing this we must be prepared for 14 days of feeling very much on an emotional roller-coaster. This is exactly why so many people go to therapists for support in breaking negative emotional habits. It is not a simple task. Silly analogy here but it seems to fit...think of a habit as pulling an end of a plastic electrical tie through its lock and then trying to pull it back. A very tough thing to accomplish, unless you work at it and stay committed to see it through to the end. It is not impossible but it is very challenging for most people. We are still searching for the answers to questions such as.... Why is it so damn hard to trust? Why is it so hard to feel good about yourself and your relationship any time and anywhere? It is more so that, somewhere along the line you have fallen into a belief that you are not worthy of that relationship and you are in fear that at any second someone else will take over and replace you. Hence a low self-esteem or self-worth! Trust is not about what another person may or may not do to you or that they observe another. It is about: - how safe you feel, being who you are. - why you put yourself down. - why you instantly compare yourself to another. - why you feel the need immediately find a flaw in another that you feel threatened by. - why your insides tighten and twist so that you find it hard to breathe at times. - why you cannot accept a compliment at face value. -why you look in the mirror and hate who you see. Trust is all about YOU! In order to battle and overcome one's insecurities in life,: -you must feel secure in who you are and accept who you are. -you must stop wanting to change what you cannot. -you must learn to appreciate every little thing about who you are. -you must focus on loving who you are. -you must want to be happy about who you are. -you must realize that every second that you dwell on unhappy thoughts...is life being wasted. -you must learn that trust inside of you> To be able to trust another and feel secure in a relationship...you must accept you, right now, this second. Accepting who you are and allowing that thought to determine your life will in turn give you peace of mind. You cannot control what another person is going to do, so why waste another second trying to through your own thoughts. Accept that you are you and your partner is your partner. Here are two very good thoughts to keep as your daily inspirations.. "To be Wronged is Nothing unless You continue to Remember It!" "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are!" Remember...trust comes from within your own thoughts and self-acceptance. Strengthen those and your life will be what it is meant to be and that is free of chaos and doubt!!  DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com | ||
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GLOUCESTER (WBZ) ― There's a stunning twist to the sudden rise in teen pregnancies at Gloucester High School. 17 students there are expecting and, according to a published report, most of them became that way on purpose.
Time Magazine is reporting that nearly half of the girls confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. None of the girls is older than 16. | ||
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 I know that that sounds like something all of our parents and grandparents have said to us, but in actual fact the changes that have occurred in the last 50 years have been the most drastic and self-destructing! Families of yesterday and today are so completely opposite that they tend to be foreign to each other. Does it ever make you wonder why? When I take a few minutes to just breathe, I cannot help but wonder how we, the people, have reached this point of existense. The point where the norm is now blended families, children with cell phones, sex in the middle schools, worse yet, a common conversation between people in a social environment or a workplace is now, nine time out of ten about their 'EX'. Is it economics or the strive for women's equality? Is it due to the fact that at the time of World War 2, women were placed in the work force because of the shortage of men? I feel that by placing women in the workforce, presented opportunities for women and men to become more sociable with each other, which in turn created the question of whether their choice in mates was fulfilling or satisfying them. The beginning of a relationship threat! Certain comparisons and doubts would begin when things at home were maybe not going as well as expected. Eventually that special person at home is not so special anymore. All of a sudden people at work seem so much more understanding and have more to offer. They seem to have it so much better! All of a sudden a commitment becomes just a bunch of letters and our self serving self gains control at all costs. Then we have the crossroad when women began to demand certain equal rights. It was not enough to just help out the economy and work in factories, now women wanted to have a choice of where they wanted to work. They began to demand choices of workplace. They demanded to be heard! With women in the work force becoming a norm, where does that put the children of the then 'Family'? It puts them in front of the television, being taught by a babysitter, raised in a daycare with other, 'wanted but have no time for' children. Last but not least the children become somewhat of a burden on the parents conscience. At that point the material world begins. The material substitutes begin to replace the love and affection that only time and presence can strengthen a child's confidence and self-esteem. Again the 'Family' changes! The children of the new 'Family', become more independent and indifferent of what we may have know as 'Family'. The husband and bread winner of the then 'Family' is now feeling less needed, less important and very much less than a man. This is where he begins to doubt himself and see his partner as a threat, not necessarily an equal. Another relationship threat! We move forward to technology. Which is being proven to be a faster means to an end. People feel the need to shine and impress others outside of their families these days. The priorities have swung totally to the other side of life's pendulum. The then 'Family' is no longer necessary nor does it fit the lifestyle of today. People care less about working on whats real and necessary to feed and strengthen a real 'Family', than they do about the biggest television screen, the newest car, pleasing everyone else but their 'Family'. The material world once again takes over the then 'Family'. Some will ask, "who cares why we are at this point in life and why worry about what is already in the past? It is not a matter of caring or worrying as it is a matter of understanding and just maybe redirecting some of our morals and ideas in our 'Family' unit. After all is it not fact that our children are our future? What exactly are you doing about setting precedent in your home besides talking or complaining about how awful things are becoming in our world? We can learn from the 'Family' that holds tight and stays the course to keep their values positive and healthy. Just in my slight comparison of 'Family', then and now, you can see where things have become unbalanced, self-centered, and full of negativity. We can move forward with positive thoughts that will direct us to a more positive life if we CHOOSE to! My thoughts do not apply to all people, but they do cover a large percentage of people in todays world. I am not against equal rights. I am however against equal rights for just women or just men. I am against unequal rights and extreme selfishness which is altogether different. When men and women can understand that we are all people, I do believe then and only then will we be able to get along equally! Live & Let Live!
~D~ DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com  | ||
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Liar liar...pants on fire....  As children we had already little rhymes that taught us that lies were not a good thing. Lying, as any learned behavior is a very bad habit as are any negative habits... there are many reasons that people lie. To lie with deliberation is definitely a control of one being self served. Lying with out deliberation is where the habit has become a part of that persons way of life, being undeliberate now, which I beleive is even worse, because a person that is a habitual liar cannot not even differentiate reality from non reality. This person is dangerous and can be very confusing to live with. Drug/alcohol addicts will fall into this lying area more than the controlled one because of the merry-go-round they are on. Lying becomes a way of survival and they will do it with pure passion and need to feed thier hunger. IS lying a necessary part of life? Hmmmm... Lets think about where we began: When we are babies, do we lie? Do we learn to play the game of control then? Do babies cry because they know that they will be served through that action, or are they taught that crying will be self-serving? Children will lie when they are taught that they can get away with something through that type of manipulation, or when they are lied too. I remember when I was taught to lie...I went to the store for my mother and had change, with that change I bought a candy...when I went home, my mother asked me why I was ten cents short, and she continued..saying that if I tell her the truth I will not be scolded, so I told her the truth and she punished me severely. Now unfortunately that was when my trust went down the tubes and from that point on, I lied in certain cases to protect myself. A couple of not so good behaviours were taught to me from that one incident...I learnt to lie when I had to and I also learnt that my mother could not be trusted with her words. From that day on, I learnt to play the game. White lies as opposed to black lies: does that mean that white lies are good and black lies are bad? Is that saying that lying has a positive means? It can be very confusing, as most humans are. A lie is a lie I have always tried to teach my children. When you lie to protect yourself it is still in a sense, self-serving which we are taught is wrong? To lie to deceive another is definitely clearly wrong. I would say that there are definitely gray areas when it comes to telling lies. But that it is not a necessary to life. It depends on the person and their conscience. I know some people that could not tell a lie if their lives depended on it and I know people that will lie and will follow that lie with justification that they will bet their lives on. I beleive it is a true learned behaviour as are so many of our negative emotions. Also if we lived in a perfect world, would we ever have to feel like we have to lie? Our world is full of negativity and elements of trickery and sometimes in order to battle these wars we need to use weapons that are not so positive to fight them. We will never be able to control nor understand others in their methods to their madness. Live and let live is my way of thinking. We are only responsible for what we can control, that being our own minds and intentions! Life can be confusing enough in our own little corners without trying to solve the worlds confusions. Pandora Boxes are definitely a good brain twister and does wake up a lot of sleeping giants in Jacks beanstalk  In any case practising and sharing positive habits and honesty will invite positive habits and honesty in return. As Lyfe Jennings sings,"When you are trying to do positive things, positive results have got to follow" Thats all I have to say about that!!! Huggggzzzzz~D~! | ||
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 We were born into a safe world...only knowing the sound of our mother and father maybe even a sibling. We feared nothing, we hated no one, we trust everything and everyone that we recognized. Why does this safe world and total feeling of healthy self-worth and self-esteem stop? The we enter our first year in the education system...all of a sudden things become contrary to what we knew up to then. We hear how different life can be in different households. We see how different others dress, eat and act towards others. We begin to grow away from our nest. We move forward and continue into another year, then another, all along gathering memories of life as we experience it in the world of growth. Some memories are good and some are not so good. Some of us are strong enough to stand up to the negativity we experience and move along smoothly. Others are not so strong and fall into a whirlwind of abuse cycles called bully-ism and the abuse that goes along with that. We fear not being accepted and then we fear that if we do not allow the abuse from the bullies that we will never get any attention ever from them. So in turn we allow the abuse. We become our own abusers of sorts. WE become driven to gain an acknowledgment or acceptance of any kind just to feel that we are alive in their eyes. What do these bully's have over us, that we will allow, even welcome the abuse? Abuse that takes form in so many ways, whether it be physical, name calling, hazing, ridiculing and/or sexual harassment. Where do these bullies come from? Where do they learn to hurt and hate just in the name of fun? What about the kids that just follow along because of their fear of not being accepted? Are they bullies too? There are many sides to this horrible world of bullies and victims. The bully had to learn or not learn civilized treatment of others somewhere. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, we were born without hate and fear. Where did the victim loose their sense of self-respect? OR Their strength to stand up and say STOP or NO? These are questions that we must find the answers to if we are ever going to begin to learn how to overcome the issue of bullying. Our children are becoming bullies and victims because of how they feel about themselves inside and/or what they are perceiving is simply fun and games. I have attached a story that comes from my community. This is way to close to home even for me. Please read this and instead of reading the names of the children that you see...replace the names with your children's names. Do not be fooled...this is a reality that your children and mine are living every day even if they do not make you aware of it. ***************************************************************************************************************** Police: 3 DeLand school teens plotted murder DELAND -- Three DeLand Middle School students, including one who claimed to admire the shooters of the Columbine High School massacre, face felony charges for reportedly plotting to shoot classmates and then themselves, authorities said Friday. The Volusia County Sheriff's Office took all three students -- two boys and a girl -- into custody and is charging them with conspiracy to commit murder. The three seventh-graders have been transported to the Volusia Regional Juvenile Detention Center in Daytona Beach, sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said. The teens were identified by authorities as Austin Mohr, Tyler Christian and Charlene Russell, all 13. Davidson said the State Attorney's Office will determine if the teens will be charged as juveniles or adults. Davidson said the plot was uncovered March 5 after a student who was not involved received a text message from Austin Mohr saying he wanted to shoot students at the school during lunch break. The teen who received the instant message told a family member, and the adult notified authorities. Mohr posed as a 19-year-old boy on a MySpace Web page with "satanic references, a picture of a tombstone and other disturbing images," Davidson said in a statement. Mohr had also posted on the social network site that he admired two shooters responsible for the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado. In the text message, Mohr directed his rage against two students, in particular, but went on to say he would kill "every person I see . . . The massacre will happen soon." The teen, who claimed he was being teased and picked on at school, wrote that he wanted to lock the cafeteria door during one of the lunch periods and shoot people there, authorities said. "The good news is that several people did the right thing along the way," Davidson said Friday during a news briefing at the middle school. "It enabled us to begin the investigation very quickly. The (principal) was instrumental in identifying some of the students involved in the conspiracy." Showing up at the news briefing, Charlene Russell's sister, Melissa, 16, said her sister "has never been like this before." Melissa Russell said her sister was in choir, made good grades and was on the honor roll. But after breaking up with her boyfriend, she "just has been talking about doing nothing." Charlene Russell feels bad and would take it back if she could, her sister said. After Austin Mohr started talking about plans for the shooting, Charlene Russell "went along with it because she didn't know what else to do," Melissa Russell said. Days earlier, Melissa Russell said, her sister lay on a set of railroad tracks in Orange City and had to be pulled away minutes before a train rolled by. Attempts to reach relatives of the other teens were not successful Friday evening. After the threats came to light, all three students received mental-health evaluations, Davidson said, including one who was taken into a facility under the state's Baker Act. "The investigators determined the students did not appear to have weapons or means to carry out the threats," he said. The students were automatically removed from the school when the plot was uncovered, Davidson said. Volusia County Schools spokeswoman Nancy Wait said DeLand Middle School Principal Matt Krajewski sent a message to parents after news of the events was released Friday, stressing that students' safety on campus was not compromised at any time. "We learned a lot from Columbine, and one of the lessons was to listen and take action," Wait said. Wait said the students meet weekly for 20 minutes during homeroom to talk about bullying on campus. "This school has a very strong anti-bullying campaign," Wait said. ~D~ DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com
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Have you ever been caught up in a thought that will not let you out? Escape is not an option. What was a simple drip in your pool of thoughts, quickly turned into an ocean of tidal waves rolling into each other, over and over again. This is what it feels like to not have positive control over your mind. Our minds often repeat hurtful thoughts or scenarios over and over, even when we'd much rather let them go. If you start really listening to your inner voice, you are probably dwelling on the past, remembering how someone may have let you down or how much anger you still hold back from being hurt. If you fear the challenges that are waiting for you or you are ashamed at where you are now in your life as compared to where you had planned on being, these fears will definitely be in line to play the mind game on you. All of these insecure or hurtful emotions that you once tucked away will come back to play when the game begins. The problem is, when they come back, you will not recognize them and this will be your first bad move. Now the mind game begins. The game is of the mind, to confuse you in your thought process. When your mind is triggered even slightly by a word, a picture, or even a look what we want to do is to think positive, nice, sweet and safe thoughts. If you have the slightest opening in your mind the game will begin. It will take a thought and wait for your first emotional weakness. Then it will twist that thought and magnify it so that it feeds on that weakness and sends you into that ugly world of negative thinking. You would give anything to shake off these negative thoughts, but we all know so well that it's easier said than done. Instead you struggle through your day feeling like you are a freak and that if you do not get a grip on this mind game and soon you will explode. All that you want is to be free of negative thoughts and be happy all the time. You spend a lot of time thinking over negative feelings and sulking over regrets and misfortunes. The worst part is that the more you try to end this horrible game that twists your brain so tight, the worse it gets. You will try to avoid your hidden shames and worries or drown them with alcohol or drugs. All that happens when that little fix-it ends is that the mind game becomes stronger. New thoughts continue, the game attacks again only to turn those thoughts against you. You can feel them escalate into negative scenarios in your mind, but at this point powerless. The power of the game is winning and you are now in the believing stage of the game. Your mind now believes your negative thoughts. You are forced to react and through this reaction the mind game soars and takes over even further. Now it not only controls you but it has also taken control of your entire world and whoever is in it at the time. You collapse from the draining feeling of failure once again. You feel that you will never be able to win this mind game. You feel that you will be a pawn for the rest of your days on earth. A doormat and a bug to stepped on over and over again because of your inability to gain strength and take control of your positive mind. So why not just give in? Why not just bow down whenever you fail to think positive thoughts? Well, I will tell you why you do not want to do that! You are a human being with a heart and a brain. You were given the ability to feel emotions. Emotions such as: self-respect, self-esteem, humor, love, laughter, sexuality, self-confidence but most of all you were given intelligence and the will to survive. You were given the gift of life. Those are the reasons to fight. How to fight is also right there in front of you. You are already aware of the mind game. Most of you have played it so long that you should be the champions by now. I have talked about habits many times and I will keep talking about them. Through habits you can defeat many of those mind games. Try to simplify your thoughts. The stronger the game tries to twist them the harder you work to shrink them. I read about an interesting way to look at this. Think of your thoughts as a pop-up ad on your computer. You see it and then you don`t. Or it pops up and you simply delete it without giving it a second thought. Even if it was a negative pop-up you spend no time at all analyzing where it came from, you simply carry on with what you were doing. This is a good way to play, and win the game. Also another way to play and win is when your thought begins to twist through the negative game, start to vocalize it. Sing it quietly to yourself or hum outloud. This will confuse the game, and throw it off track. Immediately when you get a thought that seems to be fair game think of something very funny or a very sad movie that made you cry. A very good habit is to change your thought track. The game cannot keep up when the track is jumped. Be aware that your mind is a game field but you have to play it in order to win. If you do not play you will lose by defeat. SAD!!! So my words to you is this : KICK IT`S BUTT!!!!!!! ~D~ DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com
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Sorry to say, it is NOT all about YOU! ME! ME! ME! If your thoughts are constantly focused on the word, 'ME', then you are already on a downward spiral to a very lonely, depressed cycle of thinking. Whether you are aware of it or not yet, you will wake up one day and spend every waking hour searching for answers to why you feel so depressed, lonely, rejected and full of negative feelings. Who knows why some of us feel that the world should revolve around us. I have met many, many people that truly, and sincerely believe that they are the center of everyone's day. I myself also can take claim to that feeling of importance. It may be because our parents have raised us to believe that or we may have interpreted it through experiences in our lives. Somewhere we were made to believe that it is all about, 'ME'. It is one of the most crushing realities when we are faced with the harsh fact that we are not in any way shape or form anyone else's responsibility in feeling like we are important. It is up to us to make ourselves feel important to us. We are so in control over how we feel that it is amazing how many people continue to struggle and cannot understand that what they are searching for what is right in front of their eyes and in their own mind of thought. Have you ever heard the song, "One is a lonely number"? Well it is a very lonely number. When you feel like you are suppose to be the number one focus on everyones thoughts or actions, and you find that you are not, it is a very lonely feeling. You are in fact the only one that is standing there feeling rejected and hurt when the other people have no idea whats going on inside of you. They are merrily going through their rhythm of life without any idea that you are expecting to be their center of attention. When you spend time dressing sexy for your partner and greet them at the door and they do not acknowledge you, your first thought is ...ME!!! You instantly feel that you have been rejected and ignored, that you went out of your way to please this person and it was totally unseen and unappreciated. ME...ME...ME again. Just maybe that person had a very bad day and was looking forward to a few minutes of space to collect their thoughts. Or maybe that other person seriously was thrown off guard and did not know what to say or do which embarrassed them. Also that person could have been expecting you to see them as your center point and read their minds. You are not the only person that has fallen into the 'ME' habit! Another good example is when someone doesn't answer you in the way that you expect, you feel totally emotionally discombobulated and your first defense is to wonder if that person is mad at you or if you said the wrong thing ect. Better yet, you take what was said and you allow it to control your entire world because it was not what you wanted to hear. ME...ME....ME again! It may just be that they had a bad day once again or that their preoccupied with something else at that very minute. There really was no negative intention there at all. If we are not thinking ...ME ....ME...ME all of the time, then we would not get caught in that trap of confusion and feelings of rejection. Learning to think away from the, 'ME' habit is not hard. It is yet another bad habit that controls our thoughts and only allows negative ones in. It does however take realization and a desire to really find a happier you! You are probably thinking..."Ok...so how exactly does one get to this point in their thinking where they do not immediately feel that they were a target of a personal attack?" ME....ME....ME! What I am going to tell you is basically obvious and has been said many times. I can only hope that through my words and thoughts you will actually absorb it and apply it to YOUR LIFE! **Stop thinking about how you are feeling right now and get into the habit of asking that other person how they feel or if they are comfortable with certain surroundings! **Listen first, think second, replay what you just heard third and then respond through a positive filter! Nothing is ever gained by responding negatively or selfishly to others. **Do NOT play the blame game. Again it serves no good purpose to look for blame in how others think! **S |
