MaDD Blogger

Short takes...

I've gotten a few emails based on some of my older posts where I mentioned that I had a bunch of unfinished blog posts saved up. I kept meaning to finish them but couldn't find the words. After re-reading them I decided to take key paragraphs from some of my favorites and combine them into one post of short takes. Many of them are weeks and months old but I still think it's a decent read. Hope you enjoy.

• I was waiting on an Arab customer and when he left the guy behind him said "Somebody stop that guy and tell him to get his cousins to stop hijacking planes and blowing up buildings!". Everybody in the store myself included burst out laughing. Does my laughing make me a racist or a keen observer of wry wit and social commentary?

• There's this girl Lindsay that I had been lusting after for about a year from afar. She had the cutest face and a great figure and she was just one of those fantasy girls that men drift off and think about when they're off by their lonesome. She came in the other day wearing a belly shirt and after seeing the damage that having two kids can have on a womans stomach I quickly deleted her from my mental roladex. Damn girl, cover that thang up! I have so little joy in my life don't begrudge me my fantasy women. Let me live the lie just a little bit longer.

• After all this time I finally watched Fahrenheit 9/11 on Showtime and hated it. I honestly feel like Michael Moore has lost all of his objectivity and the film inspired so much anger in me that I felt he should be horse whipped. Let me get this straight the President plotted with the Saudis whom he and his family were in business with to cause 9/11 to happen? Why? Because he and his friends owned stocks and had key business interests in certain defense contractors and of course Haliburton all of whom would benefit financially from a war and the rebuilding that would take place afterwards. That's right folks the only reason we are at war is so the President and all of his friends can get rich. All it cost was 3000 American lives and of course the deaths of all of our soldiers fighting abroad and the injuries of thousands more. They don't hate us for our freedom. They hate us for our stock portfolios. Note to self, cancel Etrade account. Call Michael Moore and tell him what a huge fucking moron he and those Air America assholes are. No wonder the President was re-elected. Go Dubya!

• I often see gay activist on TV comparing the gay rights movement to what blacks in this country went through during the civil rights movement. I used to buy this argument until I watched a talk show about racism in the gay community. The show featured a gay black couple who had been run out of the home that they bought in a middle class gay community. They told a horrifying tale of all the threats and harassment that they had received from their white neighbors all of whom of course were gay but didn't want any blacks living next door driving down the property values. They could only take it for so long and put the house up on the market and moved out. I have a few friends of mine that are gay and I've asked some of them about this. One friend even admitted that his boyfriend didn't really like blacks that much and often made racist comments. The gay rights movement is locked in a struggle for equality and tolerance so gays in turn should not discriminate against anyone least of all one of their own who just happens to be of another race. After all, it's just like the civil rights movement. Right?

hhmmmm

{ 7:32 AM, August 2, 2005 } { Posted by Mike }

Ref: "after seeing the damage that having two kids can have on a womans stomach I quickly deleted her from my mental roladex". How do you think she would feel after reading that????

Probably not too good....

{ 9:26 AM, August 2, 2005 } { Posted by maddhatt }

I'm sure she wouldn't like it much at all but she was my fantasy girl and I put her up on a pedistol and worshipped her from afar. My seeing her stomach made her more real to me. The illusion was perfect and the real woman was flawed.

It's not wrong to have dreams is it? People always dream of the unobtainable. They dream of being rich or famous. They dream of being with Brad Pitt or Pamela Anderson or Angelina Jolie or Tom Cruise. I'm sure you love your wife very much and maybe you've never seen another attractive woman and drifted off to a fantasy place if only for a moment. To do so would only make you human but if you have there is a pretty good chance that you've built that person up to an unrealistic standard. In my fantasy Lindsay was absolutely perfect in every way, no scars no wrinkles no stretch marks. I ask you and anyone else reading this one question, when you fantasize do you think about a real person who is a maybe a few pounds overweight and whose teeth aren't perfectly white and straight or do you go for the Hollywoood ideal? Most people if being honest would say the latter.