MaDD Blogger

I now pronounce you...

About a week ago a friend of mine who used to work with Inas gave me an update on her. Her mother shipped her off to Egypt and arranged for her to marry this guy there. I can't really say I'm surprised. Inas's mom had been pushing for a wedding since she found out about us last year. Inas kept fighting but the pressure was hard to take and I guess in the end it became to much. There was a part of me that thought that somehow everything would work out in the end but it didn't and now the love of my life is married to someone she barely knows.

During the course of our relationship Inas hinted that something like this could happen and that if it did we could still be lovers. Her mother and father don't sleep together anymore. Theirs was not a relationship built on love. Inas's father went to her Grandfather's house to claim a wife. Inas's aunt who was the oldest was the intended target but Inas's father found her to be unattractive. In walked Inas's mother who was 14 years old which means I was about 6 when this shit went down but anyway he liked the 14 year old very much and the marriage was made. After talking to her I got the distinct feeling that she has a lover and she felt Inas was not discreet enough to do the same. She said this of course after her daughter hid our relationship from her for an entire year and a pregnancy for nearly 3 months.

Inas was going to a health clinic to get checkups. She took home a few of the pamphlets and left them in her car which her mother decided to clean. Guess what she found? If not for that little fact my child would have been born last month.

Inas is now back in the states while her new husband finishes his schooling and then he will move to the US within the next year. A friend of mine thinks that I should contact her and see if the offer to be her lover still stands. I can't do that, it's just not my style. Even if I could abide by the ground rules it wouldn't last long. I'm too jealous to share a woman with anyone. Besides, I'm looking again now anyway. College is about to start back which means a fresh new crop of women will flood to the 'Boro in pursuit of "higher learning". Perhaps my new love will be in the new batch. What? A guy can dream can't he?

well????

{ 3:21 PM, August 17, 2005 } { Posted by Mike }

Maybe you SHOULD have married Inas. It sounds like she was the love of your life. I have read her name many times in your blogs and she seems to really stand out as "The One". HHmmmm, maybe you could call and see if she is married yet. Maybe you still have a chance!!!!????

It's too late...

{ 5:32 PM, August 17, 2005 } { Posted by maddhatt }

That's what I was saying. Her mom shipped her off to Egypt a few months ago. She got married came home and started a new job. I know exactly where she is but she's stayed away all this time so I guess I have to respect that. We always talked about fighting it. That even though her family believed in arranged marriage she was in America now and didn't have to do it. My family liked Inas but she would have had to give up her family to be with me.

Inas's mother said that the men in her family would be forced to kill her and me and when you see the stuff that is still going on in the middle east it's hard to believe that she was lying. Inas has one aunt that ran away a few years ago and has a death sentence on her head. Inas used to tell me that her uncles were crazy and would kill her aunt if they ever found her and her mother told horrible stories of young women being killed while she was growing up in Jordan.

I don't fully understand Arab culture and Inas often pointed that out to me but I do know that she loved me and that she's now married to someone she doesn't love.

OI VEY!

{ 9:49 AM, August 24, 2005 } { Posted by mommyrn }

Dude, you dodged a bullet. Find out what the woman's religous beliefs are before you bang in the back seat. You were right not to run away with Inas. Her family would of hunted you down like a thanksgiving turkey. Find someone with common beliefs and values. In the end, a united beleif wins out. Carry on. Deirdre

I don't agree...

{ 5:57 PM, August 24, 2005 } { Posted by maddhatt }

Believe me I see your point but Inas didn't share her families beliefs or at least not all of them. I knew her religious background she never lied to me about it but I just thought that because she was in America now that we could overcome it. It's over now and I lost out and I'm dealing with it but I don't feel like I dodged a bullet. I feel like I got shot

So sorry.....

{ 11:05 AM, August 25, 2005 } { Posted by }

The bullet I was refering to was the one that may have been in your head. You were right in thinking that her family would not have tolerated her disregard for her religion and family belief system. Women in that culture have little to say about their lives and those of their children. I am trully sorry for your loss. I was making the comments more for your readers. Religous beliefs are deep rooted by family and generations of teachings. I am a preacher's kid. As much as I do not agree with my father I cannot ignore what I have grown to know as my belief system. For religion, people seldom think about
how they will raise their children. 'We are in love, that is all we need.' Love does not always cut it or break through those barriors. From what I can see, you are a great guy and deserve soemone that is going to respect you. I do not know all of your relationship with Inas but she knew she would relent and give in to her belief system. That, my friend, is not fair to you or your children's future. That is the other bullet you dodged. So sorry!

Edited by mommyrn on August 25, 2005 at 12:06 PM

That's cool...

{ 6:30 AM, August 26, 2005 } { Posted by }

I see your point Deirdre and I don't want you to think that I took offense to the other comments you made because I didn't. It's just that with alot of cultures America changes some things. People come here to change things and not be so rigid so in that spirit I had hoped that her family would accept our relationship. Inas always warned me that they wouldn't but I'm a dreamer and as we went forward I fell deeper and deeper.

Edited by maddhatt on October 4, 2005 at 4:05 AM