MaDD Blogger

Ice

You're not going to believe this shit. I'm at work and 10 o'clock rolls around so I'm thinking hey one more hour of this shit and I can go home right? Wrooooong! Alyce comes in to work an hour early so now I'm really getting excited but the strange thing is she walks in carrying this bag of ice. It's a gas station we have bags of ice for sale for the customers but we also have a ice machine in the back for us to use in the store for stocking beers and soda so I was slightly curious as to why in the hell she walked in the store with it. I asked her and she said that she found it laying on the ground outside which is strange. We don't lock the ice up but most customers if they drop a bag they will at least pick it up and put it back so I thought someone must have been out there stealing the ice. As soon as I said it Alyce said "Yep someone's out there stealing the ice right now!" and then all I heard was doors slamming shut and tires squealing. I looked through the window to see a maroon Chevy S10 haulin ass out of the lot and I'm like "What a bunch of fucking morons". I mean come on you got to be pretty lame to be going around stealing bags of ice now don't you? But that's the kind of shit hillbillys do in the south. See water in it's raw unfrozen form is scarce in the south and when you do find it you never see any rednecks around it because their afraid that the water might actually get on their body and remove all the dirt,grime and filth that their body has accumulated over the years. Nope better to have the frozen kind, it's easier to control that way.

Anyway Like I said before I thought what they did was lame and was getting ready to get the hell out of there and go home for the night. Alyce said that we needed to call the police and I'm like "Get the fuck out of here. Are you serious?" and shes going on about merchandise and inventory and shit so I'm like "Fuck it. Call the cops. Do whatever you want." so I call the cops and they put me on hold for like 5 minutes and I'm still waiting on customers but that was fine cause half of them had cellphones glued to their ear anyway so they thought I was just one of the tribe. We started to get really busy so I hand the phone to Alyce so I could clear the store out and the police come back on the phone now and Alyce starts talking to them. Then the officer after hearing the sad tale goes "And you want us to do what?" I damn near burst out laughing because when you think about it being a police officer is just a job like any other job except for the nifty firearms and whatnot. I've learned two universal rules in the 13 years I've been in the workforce "Working for other people sucks and working with other people sucks". Think about it, when you're standing in line with the other folks at the movies or a restaraunt or the doctor's office what do people bitch about the most? Jobs,money,paying bills,shit like that right? Housewives tend to bitch about their rotten kids and their horrible husbands because that's their jobs. People are remarkably self centered and they bitch about all the foul shit that happened during their day, kinda like I'm doing now. I'll take a desk job over a job where you have to work with public any day of the week. My first paying job was working part time on the custodial crew at my high school. We'd clean the whole school up and mop and vacuum all of the floors,scrub the toilets and take out all the trash in the classrooms. You haven't really worked a day in your life until you've cleaned the girls locker room when it's that time of the month. The girls all seem to go in heat at the same time and the trash bags would be full of...well lets not go there but I liked the fact that I didn't have to deal with other peoples shit because most of the time we worked by ourselves. Everybody had their own sections to clean up.

My point was that when you work at a customer service job you have got to have a good personality even when you are waiting on complete assholes and who has to deal with more assholes day to day than the police? I can't think of one time when someone said "Call the police" that it was for a good reason so they always see the absolute worst in people. You don't say "Call the police and ask them if they want cake and ice cream." you say "Someone is breaking into my house, call the police!" So if I'm a cop and I hear Alyce talking about this ice theft bullshit I'm like "Not this shit again. Why do I always get the shit calls." but they send two uniforms over and they take the report and leave. It took about 10 minutes and we had our report. It's now about 10:30PM so I'm still on pace to slide out the door on time. I wait on a few more folks and it's 10:58 and time to start counting down my register when the phone rings. It's the two officers and they caught the four morons who stole the ice but they need Alyce to come and ID them because she was the only one that actually saw their faces, I just saw the truck. She went and made a positive ID on 3 of the 4 because she didn't get a good look at the driver. The two officers were officers Yates and Davis and after they left us they headed to the Exxon Tiger Mart and Yates just happened to notice a truck that matched our description damn near to a tee and figured "What the hell. Lets pull them over when they leave the parking lot.". They approached the truck to find four white males all over 18 but under legal drinking age with a truck bed full of beer iced down and 4 empty ice bags. If you are ever in Murfreesboro and decide to break the law pray that they don't send Yates because the man is no dumbass. What made matters worse is that they stole a carton of cigarettes from the Exxon but the clerk was by herself and decided not to press charges. Long story short 4 bags of ice and 4 rednecks led to 4 arrests and me not getting home until 4 in the morning. If I had known it would take that long I would have bought the damn ice myself. Smoke 'em if you got 'em boys...

All that over ice.

{ 10:48 PM, April 26, 2005 } { Posted by Apocryphon }

What the hell? Those bags aren't even a dollar... and you've got some dipshits getting themselves arrested over them? Crazy.