MaDD Blogger

Living Will....

{ 8:26 PM, February 8, 2006 } { Posted in Humor } { 0 comments } { Link }

NEW LIVING WILL

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or some doctors interested in simply running up the medical bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______ a Brandy Alexander

______ a Bloody Mary

______ a Margarita

______ a Scotch and Soda

______ a Martini

______ a Vodka and Tonic

______ a Steak

______ Lobster or crab legs

______ The remote control

______ a Bowl of ice cream

______ The sports page

______ Chocolate

______Sex

If none of the above has happened, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

At this point it is time to call the:

Priest/Rabbi/Minister/Pastor/Deacon...to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________

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