MaDD Blogger

The asshole factor

I often wonder what drives the people that we call the assholes of our lives. You know these people either directly or indirectly. Maybe they cut you off on the freeway as you were on your way to work. Or maybe they raised a little monster that delights in tormenting your children at school.

If you wait on people or run a cash register like I do in my spare time I'm sure you have a few regular customers that come in that make you go "Not this asshole again!". I have often found that these people are drawn to me like a magnet. The more I hate these people the more they come to me trying to buddy up and eventually these people will want a favor usually they want a few bucks to put in their tanks or buy a pack of smokes and depending on how much I hate them I usually honor these request. Why you ask? The main reason is that I've learned over the last 30 years is that the best way to get rid of someone that you hate is to loan them money and what's even better is that I'm not talking about a lot of cash. You can get rid of most idiots in your life for less than 10 dollars a pop and anyone that has done this will tell you that this is true.

This won't work if you're are say...co-workers with the offending idiot. If you work with them then your pretty much stuck with them until they do something stupid and get fired which more often then not they will. This is more geared to people that work behind the counters of the thousands of convenience stores or fast food restuaruants around the world. Try it just once and see if I'm not telling the truth. When that asshole comes to you and asks for your help reach in your pocket and help them. If they ask for $10 offer $5 and see what happens. Of course they are going to take it, it's free money. They will then give you the where and when that they will of course pay you back. Don't pay too much attention to this as 9 times out of 10 you will NEVER get this money back but it's not for that remember?

About 4 months ago I had one of my regulars ask for 5 bucks and he even said that he would be back to pay me before my shift ended. Now with him being the piece of shit that I knew him to be I figured that if he ditched me like I thought he would I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore and all it cost me was 5 bucks. It worked and I went from seeing this prick 5 or 6 times a week to not seeing him for over 4 months. The next month I had another annoyance ask for 10 bucks to put in his tank until tomorrow. I told him I'd give him 5 and he took it and almost 3 months later I still haven't seen him so I went another step and when the latest asshole of the month reared his ugly head and asked if he could borrow 2 bucks to put in his tank I figured "2 bucks to get rid of this dickwad? That's a hell of a bargain!". It's now been 2 months and not one peep from him which is great. I would have paid all 3 of these morons 10 times as much to avoid me like the plague and all it costs me was 12 bucks! How many of you have people out there that you would literally pay to stay away from you? Take a chance and try it a few times you'll be surprised at the results.

1. One pack of Malboro cigarettes $3.28
2. One gallon of unleaded gasoline $2.09
3. Three assholes out of your life forever - priceless!

"There are some idiots that money can't buy but for everyone else there's the asshole factor."

Priceless

{ 6:26 AM, June 29, 2005 } { Posted by Mike }

That was a great read. I couldnt help but to smile as I read it. I just printed your post and I will take it to work with me. So, when my co-workers ask me for 5 dollars and I give them 3, they will know exactly how I feel about them! (Or is it that I'm the asshole?)

Funny

{ 6:28 AM, June 29, 2005 } { Posted by Dorothy }

I also will print this one for work. I will NOT be asking for money from anyone! Great Post!

Thanks...

{ 6:51 AM, June 29, 2005 } { Posted by maddhatt }

I've been sitting on that one for a while. I just couldn't get the wording right and then it just came to me. I'm pretty happy about it. Hopefully I have a few thousand like that left in me.

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{ 9:53 PM, July 1, 2005 } { Posted by }

[quote]That was a great read. I couldnt help but to smile as I read it. I just printed your post and I will take it to work with me. So, when my co-workers ask me for 5 dollars and I give them 3, they will know exactly how I feel about them! (Or is it that I'm the asshole?)[quote]

Mike I have to agree yea that it would make you an asshole. Why don't you not give them the money when they ask you but show them the print out and that will show them exactly how you feel about them. As a result they'll probably get mad and offended and never speak to you again but at least that would be one less ass in your life.




Edited by trueloveforever on July 1, 2005 at 10:55 PM