MaDD Blogger

Famous quotes...

Life is like riding a bicycle, you don't fall off unless you stop pedaling... -- Claude Pepper

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. -- Doug Larson

A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
-- Roald Dahl, (Willy Wonka) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. -- Mark Twain, Letter to Mrs. Foote, Dec. 2, 1887

I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine. -- Fritz Perls

Public Service Announcment...........

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)

An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!

Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.

At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.

Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.

HAVE A GREAT DAY...

...and wash your damn hands!

What a dumbass....

Watch this dumbass try to rob this guy and come up short. I wish that shit had happened when I got robbed.

(Watch Closely)

Iraq Asks Return of Some Officers of Hussein Army

This is an unorthodox move but it could work.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/03/international/worldspecial/03iraq.html?th&emc=th

Second star to the right...

October 28th 2005, a day like other days yet filled with the events that alter and illuminate our times. Enter one George Takei, known to millions of Star Trek fans world wide as Hikaru Sulu, steady helmsman of the U.S.S. Enterprise. This past Friday Takei sent a ripple through the millions of 40 year old virgins that make up Trek fandom by announcing "I've been sharing my bed with a man named Brad for the last 18 years and you can all go fuck yourselves!". Well maybe it didn't quite come out like that but it sure felt like a real kick in the balls nonetheless. Besides most of us thought it was Shatner. Note to George: Me thinks you took the phrase "Where no man has gone before" a bit too literally. Live long and prosper!