Life In My Empty Nest | |
Fortitude
I always feel like I should start an entry with father forgive for I have sinned, it has been a month of Sundays since the last confession of my soul. I was too busy having a pity party table for one, thank you. I have been off work for eight months now. My fibromyalgia (FM) has been getting the best of me or so I thought. My physiatrist (rehab doctor) decided to do a brain MRI for kicks and giggles. The MRI showed lesions on my brain. The weanie of a neurologist that interpreted the MRI spent all of fifteen minutes with me and decided to blame all of the weird symptoms on my FM. He never had any follow up appointments with me. Now, mind you, I have had FM for almost 13 yrs. The symptoms I am experiencing are not from FM. Especially the brain lesions. So, I go to another specialist at a teaching hospital in a couple of months. The waiting is killing me. If I go out of the house I come home and collapse in bed. I look fairly normal, maybe a little tired, and that blows people away. I must be faking it. What really sucks is that I have tried reaching out to a few people that I thought were friends. I discovered that they are not friends. So, fuck 'em I say. To my true friends, you know who you are, Cin and Col muah! muah! muah! Your near daily talks lately have given me strength in spirit. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. My twisted sistahs always come through! To make my world worse my poor granny fell ill a couple weeks ago. She went into the hospital with a bowel obstruction. I was at the hospital 14-16hrs a day. My immune system sucks and I fell ill. She is now in a nursing home. It kills me to see her like this. She is a shell of the woman I knew. I lost my grandfather two years ago. Part of me died with him. Part of me will die with her. I am not ready to lose her. She is a retired nurse. She is the reason I became a nurse. When I was young, their home was a refuge for me. No yelling at me, no hitting my mom, no hitting me. I loved spending the night at their home. The drive took forever or at least I thought it did. I would bolt from the car and race to the door. Granny would be at the screen door. She would have her apron and slippers on. The house would smell of roast and other yummy supper smells. I would hug granny tight, she would laugh. I then would race through the small hallway through her tiny kitchen to the dining room. The cake tin, the treasure I wanted to find, would be lifted to reveal the after supper treat. Dark Chocolate cake! Granny always heard the tin being raised. She would yell, "DeeDee, get out of that cake." I miss those words. I miss that house. Granny would come into the kitchen and start preparing supper. I would sit on the steel kitchen chair that sat close to the cabinets, tucked out of her way. I was waiting for grandpa to come home. He would drive up in his granite construction truck. I would get excited. He would come through that back kitchen door and stomp his feet. First his right, then his left. His arms would be open wide and he would say, " Hey, there she is!" I would run to hug him but he would stop me just short and say , "Not too close, grandpa is all dirty." He would go to the steel chair and remove his boots and socks. To the garage they went. He would clean up for supper. We talked about the day during supper. Sometimes granny and grandpa had healthy disagreements. I would laugh. As a child I didn't understand them. It was nothing like my house. After all the dishes were done and the dining area was cleaned, we would retire to the living room. Granny and grandpa would read the paper. I would hang out with them either laying in granny's lap or bugging grandpa. Sometimes I would explore in the yard and feed Herman, grandpa's ancient tortoise. My mother still has Herman. Herman had their address painted on his back. Why you ask? Because he would escape. Herman was the king of escape. You could find him wandering down the street. As night fell, it was time for television. Grandpa would get the popcorn and R.C. cola out (royal crown). We would watch T.V. until about 9p.m. I slept close to my grandparents room. I could hear them snoring together. I would give anything to hear that again. In the morning, I would crawl in bed with them and cuddle. On Saturday granny and grandpa would shop in the morning. I remember granny pulling the money out of her bra while we were in the checkout line. Yes, you heard me right. She said it was safer there. She was a depression child. I did not question my granny. What I looked forward to was going to Monterey. We would drop those groceries off, pack a lunch and drive to the beach. Granny loves the ocean. So do I. I love the sound of crashing waves, the smell of the salty air and the wind on my face. She and grandpa would take me to the tide pools at Lover's Point in Pacific Grove. The drive was a hop, skip and a jump. They lived in Fort Ord during World War II. Granny took her children to the same tide pools she was taking me too. She took my children when they were young. My children would tell you of the same experiences I have had. I pity those who do not know what it is like to have loving, caring grandparents. I am sad that I may be losing my grandmother. I have had her for so long. I had my grandfather for a long time. I am thankful for the time I did have them together. My grandparents made my booboos all better. Now I wish I could make my granny's booboos all better.
Disposable ChildrenI recently read a news article that stated a couple had starved their two toddlers, ages 11 and 22 months ( associated press, Reno, NV, 07/14/07). Why you ask? They were addicted to video games. Seems the father had inherited $50,000. He blew the money on a plasma television and video games. These two adults fed themselves. They took restroom breaks. I imagine the bathed every now and then. What the hell did they think when their toddlers were just wandering around? Hospital records showed that the little 11month old girl weighed ten pounds, she had a mouth infection and severe dehydration. Her head had to be shaved because her hair was matted with cat urine. Her brother was treated for starvation and a genital infection. His lack of muscle development made it difficult for him to walk. When did our innocent become do disposable? These parents treated their children like pieces of furniture. Do these people understand that these children will grow to be adults to raise human beings to live in our society? Does this scare you? IT SHOULD!
This infant is severly dehydrated infant. The child below is severely underweight.
These are the faces of the innocent. These are the faces of statistics that I am going to now show you of the child abuse and neglect that takes place in our nation every year. The following was found on Child Help, for the prevention and treatment of abused and neglected children:
*4 children die every day as a result of child abuse and neglect. 3out of every 4 of these victims are under the age of 4. *A report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds *Of the reported rapes of children under the age of 12, 90% of the victims knew the perpetrator *Child abuse occurs at every socio-economic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all regions and at all levels of education. *36.7% of all women in prison and 14.4% of all men in prison in the United States were abused as children. *Children that are abused are 2.5 times more likely to abuse alcohol and 3.8 times more likely to become addicted to drugs. *One third of abused children will grow to abuse their children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. (These photos were found in an article written by James Prescott, ‘The Slaughter Of Innocents’, 1977)His article was written a while back but it does not change the face of abuse. This infant had scalding milk poured on her face by her mother. I know a screaming infant can be difficult to care for but you WALK AWAY. This mother obviously lacked the coping skills to care for an infant. She wasn’t thinking about that when she was on her back banging her guy. Was she abused when she was a child? The article did not say. I am guessing yes. Will her child grow up with problems? I am guessing yes. There has to be an end to the cycle. Someone has to be the END. Death cannot be the end. This precious little one had been bitten in the mouth by their father. What do you think their reaction to affection will be in the future? What kind of affection will they show their children? These images are graphic, harsh and hard to think about it. We can turn a blind eye. You have to think about this, where in society are these children as adults? Are they your neighbor that is on the brink of killing his wife and shooting himself? My ex-brother-law recently committed suicide after shooting his wife in the head. They lived in Colorado. Until his father’s death , that whole family had been tormented and terrorized by him. His father ruled the roost with an iron fist. There were 8 kids.
How would you deal with bedwetting? This parent decided that keeping the child tied up with wire was a good punishment for bedwetting. Seemed reasonable to them. Their parent was probably just as harsh if not worse. Children learn what they live and mimic parenting skills. The face of child abuse is ugly. As a child you know that something is wrong with your family. You usually discover this when you start school. The first time you walk into a normal friend’s home and find a different feeling there. The home is clean. Their mom is nice. Their father doesn’t drink and hit their mother. Your friend has been taught basic hygiene. Immediately you think, I cannot have my friend over to my house. They will know I am different; They will know my family is different. Clue bag! The parents and the teachers at the school kind of picked up on ‘it’ but they have turned a blind eye to the whole thing. Heaven forbid someone get involved .
Woops! Is that another broken bone? How many E.R. visits does it take to realize a child is in trouble? The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect (NCCAN) estimated that 37% of children with maltreatment injuries developed a special need or disability, directly from the abusive actions or omissions of the child’s caregivers. Furthermore, NCCAN estimated that incidence of disabilities caused by or likely to have been caused by maltreatment was 147 in 1,000 maltreated children. WOW. Let that sink in.
These marks were left from a beating with a belt. I thought flogging was outlawed years ago!
Abusive parents get creative with a wooden spoon. This little girl was beat about her legs with a large wooden spoon.
What are the signs of child abuse?(Child Help site)
Physical signs of abuse *Unexplained burns, cuts, bruises or welts in the shape of an object *Bite marks *Antisocial behavior *Problems in school *Fear of adults
Emotional signs of abuse: *Apathy *Depression *Hostility or stress *Lack of concentration *Eating disorders
Sexual signs of abuse: *Inappropriate interest or knowledge in sexual acts *nightmares & bedwetting *Drastic changes in appetite *over compliance or excessive aggression *Fear of a particular person or family member
Signs of neglect *Unsuitable clothing for weather *Dirty or not bathed *Extreme hunger *Apparent lack of supervision I know that every parent says they love their children and they did not mean to hurt them. I say O.K. Then set your crack pipe down, drop your alcoholic beverage in the sink and start taking control of YOUR life. If you cannot manage your life, how do you plan to manage your child’s life? I was not a perfect parent. I made parenting mistakes. I have talked about my parenting mistakes with my children. I do not want them to make the same mistakes. As an adult you choose to put those things in your body. No one forces that drink down your throat or those drugs in your body. My friend Dorothy (http://www.WomensSelfesteem.com) recently wrote a great article about foster children. I know that subject is a sore one for most. The stats alone on the foster care system are staggering. After reading this blog entry you can understand how so many can end up in foster care. In California alone there 83,000 kids in foster care. Foster homes are another place for abuse to happen. Do not think that every foster home is bad or good. Keep your eyes and ears open. I am a nurse. I have a skeptical eye anyway. By law, children of abuse and neglect must be removed from their homes immediately, which is the least likely outcome (Child Help). In most states child abuse reports can be made anonymously. The person being reported for child abuse is not entitled to know who reported them. Keep in mind, if you report a family member, someone may find out! Child abuse has probably touched someone close to you, if not yourself. I did not get into the laundry list of parental malformations that drive abuse and neglect. Another time and place. This is probably enough to spur you on and keep you on alert. Here is a number for parents. This number is 24 hours a day/7 days a week. The hotline is staffed by degreed counselors. All calls are anonymous.
P.M.S...............RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:
1. PASS MY SHOTGUN
2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING
3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE
4. PUFFY MIDSECTION
5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK
6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS
7. PARDON MY SOBBING
8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE
9. PASS MY SWEATS
10. PISSY MOOD SYNDROME
11. POOR MEN SUCK
12. PACK MY STUFF
MY FAVORITE ONE
13. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT Only A Man ToddlerMy three year old nephew had a hole in his shirt. He looked at his mother and declared, "I think my muscles did it."Why We Love ChildrenWhy We Love Children
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" 5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?" 6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?" 7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" 8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning " 9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes." 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear." Now, for my own kids story. My niece was about seven or so when she told her mother she wanted to be a doctor. She said wanted to work in the hospital with her grandmother. Her grandmother is a nurse. Her mother told her that grandma will be much older and retired by then. The next time my niece saw her grandmother she told her, "I want to be a doctor when I grow up. I could work with you. Mommy says that you will be old and retarded by then."
Look Nana! Two Teeth, Well Sorta
Miss Sadie Lynn is here!!
My Son and His Beautiful Wife
Out Of The Mouths Of BabesI recently took my daughter and the grandkids to lunch. My grandson, Dominic, chose Red Lobster. Hailey, the two yr. old, was seated next me. She is a chatterbox. She chatted up the waitress. Our food arrived. Each person was being served. The waitress happened to reach across Hailey's plate and then said, "Excuse me Hailey." Hailey looked up at her and asked, "Did you fawt(fart)?" Disaster Medical Assistance TeamI am being deployed today for my DMAT ( Disaster Medical Assistance Team). We are going to Houston . Pray for all involved. Sex, Shoelaces and Video Tape
I cannot believe how quickly time slips away. When I was a child I would gauge time by holidays and my birthday. Easter, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, birthday and Christmas. As I grew older time began to tick tock away. Thanksgiving, birthday, Christmas. I hit forty and it screamed BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY! I know, I harp on my age but I am sorely reminded when I am with my two yr. old grandchild. When she has a head start, she can run fast. That little shit can take off from a sitting position and run like the wind. Her chubby little legs bouncy. Or was that my legs? Either way, makes me glad I never had to wait for my dinner to run by. God knows I would of been a vegetarian cave woman. Don't get me wrong, I am a strong woman. In my mind I am still 20. My body is just not cooperating. I actually wanted to start today's entry about my son. My daughter left me in charge of the 22 day old baby and two yr. old for almost 7 hours. Try chasing a two yr. old with a sleeping newborn in your arms. I went home thanking god that I had given my uterus to science. They were both great, but I had forgot what work little ones can create. I had the spit up and mustard-poop stains to prove it. Oi vey! O.K., now for the son entry. He was twelve and had the attention span of a gnat. Being twelve can be traumatic enough without burning a mental image of your parents for all eternity. He burst into our room and found us in a very compromising position. He froze like a deer caught in headlights. My husband's hairy white butt and me, underneath him, arms flailing trying to cover myself. Hubby flattened on me. Squashed me like a bug. Our son backed out of the room without further incident. Of course, the moment was blown. I asked him if he had locked the door. 'Yes, I locked the door.' 'Did you shut the door when you locked it?.' Long pause. Crickets in the background. 'Not sure.' That boy could not look at either one of us for days. He talked to our shoelaces. We had all put the incident, pardon the pun, behind us. My sister was having a baby and I was going to be the videographer. I was so happy. In preparation, my sister procured a video camera. I began practicing footage, perfecting my skills. One day hubby and I were playing around in our room. The dog was jumping around and barking at him. I grabbed the cam and began to shoot. He moons me. There was that butt again. I giggled and stopped filming. We left the room. My son asked what pixie was barking at. I told him dad was goofing around. Hubby and I went into the yard for the doggy duty and the mowing-of-the-lawn routine. My son and his friend could not resist the temptation to snoop at the video footage. Yeah, you guessed it, the hairy white butt revisited. All creatures Great and Small, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
My son announced that he and his long time girlfriend are getting married. Oh, and by the way, she is pregnant. WOOHOO! grandbaby number four. Wow, now comes the part where I get worried. When our son was younger he possessed the kiss of death.. Over a short period of time, three pets had met their untimely demise. The first was an iguana named Iggy. Iggy did a Peter pan off the deck and was never heard from again. Of course, this was the pre-deck burning. Let us bow our heads for a moment of silence. *sigh* . The second was a Savannah monitor named Monty. O.K., he wasn't the most original with names. Monty died of dehydration and starvation from a tape worm. How did I know it was a tape worm?? Well, the autopsy. Yes, autopsy. It is truly amazing what we as parents will do for our grieving children; well that and the dman lizard cost $50. The vet performed the autopsy for $10. With Monty's lifeless body in tow, we went to the pet store for a refund. Oh, Forgot to mention the offending tape worm in a test tube for proof. The store owner was truly sorry. Sorry he was about to lose money! He gave my son $50 in store credit. You guessed it! So came to be the third pet. A garter snake whose name escapes me at the moment. No matter, his days were numbered. Remember he was my son's pet. The snake refused to eat. How did I not know this was coming?? That damn snake would not eat for 3 mons. Our slithery friend was bribed with goldfish and baby mice. Eww. The snake was laid to rest in our freezer while awaiting his burial in the back yard. I whispered for him to say hello to Monty. I know, not funny. I couldn't resist. My son was the last child. The kids begged me numerous times for a baby. I had to constantly remind them to feed the cat. Well, my son's luck was not the best either. We bought them a puppy. Whose Your Daddy?Our third grandbaby was born friday, July 8th. My daughter and her hubby are elated to say the least. They are great parents. I've seen my daughter go through the same struggles that I did. She married a good guy though. He reminds me of my hubby. Strong values and family oriented. All though, I did want to wring his neck a few times. My son-in-law went through a trial of fire before he settled on the man he is today. I call them growing-and-if-I-don't -change-my-furture-mother-in-law-will-hunt-me-down-pains. When my grand-daughter was born I remember thinking, I hope she marries someone like her daddy and her papa. A few years ago I celebrated my husband's turning the big 4-0 with a surprise party. He was so happy to see all of his friends there. Some of these people he has known since kindergarten. One friend, coughALEXcough, was in attendance. Alex tends to partake of way too much alcohol. After about 5 or 15 beers, I lost count, Alex was making eyes at our 20 and 21 yr.-old daughters. I was livid. He was acting like some middle-aged man trying to feel young again. Oh wait, he was a middle-aged man. Like these girls would be wooed by his slurred speech, hairy back and big beerbelly. He leaned over to whisper in my daughter's ear. I could only see the shocked and disgusted look on her face. Seems Alex was trying to convince her to let him suck on her toes and drink from her shoe. Eww, and knowing Alex, double ewww. After hearing what had transpired, I sauntered up to Alex. He threw his arm around my neck and asked how goes it. I leaned into him and whispered, "Just remember, your daughter will grow to date men just like you." He looked horrified, " My daughter is not going to date until she is 30." Think about men, whose your daddy, daddy? Death By ChickenMy grandmother has a sign in her kitchen that says: Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken. I never understood that until I had teenagers in my home. There were days that my hubby and I were happy to drive around the corner and not find crime scene tape across the yard. One hot summer day I drove around the corner to see smoke billowing from someone's home. I thought, wow sucks to be them. As I drew closer to my home I realized it sucked to be me. My home had smoke billowing from the back yard. My front yard was filled with neighbors and others I did not recognize. Did I care? Hell no. They were pounding on my door. They were trying to help. My poor helpless teen daughter was in that house. Heart pounding, I fumbled for keys. Imagining the worst as the door was thrown open. No smoke in the house. Regardless, I screamed for my daughter. She poked her head out of her room. Phone attached to her head. I yelled that the house was on fire. I grabbed the phone and called 911. Now, any of you come home and find your house on fire? Didn't think so. I could barely remember my name much less my address. The fire was coming from my deck. A volunteer fire fighter and a male neighbor raced out the back door and down the burning stairs. Hoses were hooked up and the fire was out before it reached my tired dried ass shake roof. The actual fire dept. arrived 5 minutes later to tear the deck down and investigate the cause. Seems someone had been smoking on the deck. That same someone had also leaned over the railing and flicked the ashes 12 feet down. The ashes floated to the last steps. Normally, they would've extinguished on the way down. Not that day. Hell had opened up and decided to breath its fury. 107. Yes, 107. My daughter had a very curious look on her face when the fire fighters were talking about the causes. The color had drained from her body and she spewed a confession worthy of Mother Theresa. I was not feeling particularly religious that day. I think a few 'F' bombs flew from my mouth. That night, when all was quiet in the house. I stared at my tired dried ass shake roof and thanked god for sparing my home. I then remembered my grandmother's kitchen sign. Pizza Face RevisitedI am having a mid-life crisis. I hit forty and BAM!, my body went down hill at a rapid pace. My 8-yr-old grandson wanted to know when his arms would shake like mine. Hanging my head, I told him to ask Papa. When did my neck crawl down my shirt? Remember making fun of those old teachers that had the turkey wattle? I say repent and RUN FORREST RUN! The days of my youth are gone. I do yearn for my youthful appearance. Recently, I stood at the Thrifty's cosmetic counter. O.K., I am cheap and old. The potion I held in my hands promised to peel away the old dead skin to reveal younger looking skin. Peel away the years. Now I am cheap, old and delusional. I laid my money down and ran like the wind. My ass was shaking like a sack of marbles. I used that potion. Yes, my wrinkles began to fade. My skin glowed red like the sun and broke out like a pizza. Not the youthful appearance I was hoping for. Donations can be made to the MommyRN surgery fund. In the mean time, I tie my wattle in a ponytail. Wild KingdomI remember thinking my children would never leave home. Recently, my daughter told me how much she missed living at home. Of course, this is the pregnant daughter that is ready to explode with baby number three. I was reminded of a trip to Yosemite. What were we thinking? I must of bumped my head. Three teens and one of their friends. Looking back, I see we were also gluttons for punishment. The day we went to swim at Yosemite Lodge was like watching an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. The male of the species are the first to arrive at the watering hole. Awaiting the female of the species, the male can be observed burping, farting and spitting. These activities could go on for hours. Notice in the distance, a herd of females approaching. They saunter past and the males cease their bonding behavior. This gives a false sense of maturity. Alas, this is short lived. For being male, they can only restrain for so long. Soon the burping, spitting and farting have resumed. Thus, the portrayed image is shattered. The females quickly leave the area with the formal sign of rejection: the dreaded eye roll. So ends this episode of Wild Kingdom. Join us next time as we roam the wilds of the middle-aged. Puke Anyone?I promised the Father's Day 2005. I think I have learned my lesson. Well, at least this year. Hubby had planned to go golfing on Father's Day. So, I planned a family dinner out the night before at El Toritos . The arranged meeting time for all was 6 o'clock p.m. My daughter calls on her cell to tell me that our grand-daughter, Hailey, had thrown up in the El Torito lobby. This was the ravenous pregnant daughter. She stated she was going home to clean her up and get her changed. Hubby, myself, our son and his girlfriend arrived at the same time. The hostess seated us and we waited...and waited.....and waited. Of course while we waited, we had a few margaritas. Finally, my daughter and her family arrived. Pale faced Hailey was seated right in front of my husband. My daughter said that Hailey wasn't running any fever and maybe she got over heated playing in the yard. I bought that. Well, until the poor little thing grabbed her mouth and began to spew all over the place. She was grabbed up and whisked away to the bathroom. After cleaning up the immediate area, I left to check on Hailey. She was easy to track. I just followed the trail of puke. I am a nurse. For me, puke isn't an issue. On the other hand, those poor people in the restaurant, they definately had puke issues. Our daughter was going to leave with her family. I volunteered to take the grandson for the night. He is eight and an absolute delight. Of course, no bias here. A woman in the bathroom asked my daughter if she thought the food was bad. She went on to say that the staff had been cleaning up the lobby when they arrived. My daughter and I looked at each other and began to laugh. I assured the woman that it was not the food. (raising my right hand) I swear not to plan another Father's Day adventure for as long as I live. Amen. Lordy, What a Father's DayI missed out on telling you about Father's Day. My poor husband has suffered my plans the last two years. I will save the most recent until tomorrow. Father's Day 2004 was a surprise. Not quite the way I had planned but SURPIRSE! none the less. I had planned out a wonderful day wondering through Muir Woods. Hubby and I are huge Yosemite fans and admire John Muir for his efforts to save some of our forests. We are tree hugging republicans. I surprised him at breakfast. The maps were all laid out and the day was set. I even planned to bring the little dog he so loves. He said are you sure we should bring her? I assured him she would be no trouble. She weighs 5lbs. What could happen?? Well, for one, we arrived at the entrance to Muir Woods and found that furry friends were not allowed. Shit. I couldn't leave her in the car. She would suffer in the heat. I could always buy another Chihuahua. O.K., I am not that cruel. We then drove to a great little Mexican restaurant and had lunch. After lunch we, decided to go on a scenic drive to the ocean. *buzzzer*. The winds were cold and miserable. Our little dog was allowed on the beach but wanted to huddle for warmth. I hung my head and admitted defeat. Silently, we made our way to the truck and started to drive home. Hubby took a wrong turn and ended up on the Golden Gate Bridge. Did you know it costs $5.00 to drive across that freeking bridge?? $5! RAPE!! I got the KY out and paid the $5. How do those people sleep? Anyway, we made it through San Francisco. The little dog was whining. I suggested we stop and try to let her roam and maybe pee. No luck. She was confused by the strange surroundings and had stage fright. No pee. Back in the truck we go. Another freeking toll booth and hubby gets in the fast pass lane. Umm, he doesn’t have a fast pass and there was no where to put the change. Little dog still whining and turning circles in hubby's lap. He tells her to sit down. She does and then pees on his lap. We had another hour before getting home. Just when I thought I had lived that day down, Hubby got a ticket in the mail for not paying toll. Seems 'big brother' took a picture when he failed to pay at the toll booth. He has relived this day several times . Usually the story is told to our friends. There is no living this down. I accept my fate. Virgin EntryO.K., I decided to call this my virgin entry. Be gentle this is my first time and all. My typing sucks. My grammar sucks worse. I wanted to begin using a blog to express myself because, quite frankly, it is easier than keeping a journal hidden under the sofa. The one under the sofa might bare my soul but the online version will keep my family sane. Well, sorta. I spent the morning with my pregnant daughter and two yr. old grand-daughter, Hailey. Everyone at Starbucks, Barnes & Noble know her name. Wait, I left the drug store out. Oh, and the electronic store too. They also know the dance. The two yr. old dance that coincides with the screaming. I can see a caveman dancing around a fire and chanting something about killing. O.K., maybe it wasn't a ritualistic dance. My imagination and humor keep me sane. I now remember why I had my tubes cut, tied, burned and mutilated. My Doctor said he did everything but take them out and stomp on them. That was over 20 years ago. Now days, He could of added that he took them out and sold them on eBay. |
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