Life In My Empty Nest

JUST RELEASED:

2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda

7:00 pm        Opening flag burning

7:15 pm        Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.

7:20 pm        Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm        Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al

               Sharpton

7:45 pm        Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm        Ted Kennedy proposes toast

8:00 pm        How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm        Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding

8:35 pm         Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm         Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9.00 pm          Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy

                Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm        "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm       Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm       Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund

-                Barbra Streisand

11:15 pm       Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn

11:30 pm       Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm       Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm       How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers -

                Howard Dean

12:15 am      "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by

                    Michael Moore

12:25 am      Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am      Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am      Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am        Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am         Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am         Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am         Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home

2008 Democratic Convention Agenda

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