Life In My Empty Nest

Disposable Children

I recently read a news article that stated a couple had starved their two toddlers, ages 11 and 22 months ( associated press, Reno, NV, 07/14/07). Why you ask? They were addicted to video games. Seems the father had inherited $50,000. He blew the money on a plasma television and video games. These two adults fed themselves. They took restroom breaks. I imagine the bathed every now and then. What the hell did they think when their toddlers were just wandering around?

Hospital records showed that the little 11month old girl weighed ten pounds, she had a mouth infection and severe dehydration. Her head had to be shaved because her hair was matted with cat urine. Her brother was treated for starvation and a genital infection. His lack of muscle development made it difficult for him to walk.

When did our innocent become do disposable? These parents treated their children like pieces of furniture. Do these people understand that these children will grow to be adults to raise human beings to live in our society? Does this scare you? IT SHOULD!

This infant is severly dehydrated infant.  The child below is severely underweight.

These are the faces of the innocent. These are the faces of statistics that I am going to now show you of the child abuse and neglect that takes place in our nation every year. The following was found on Child Help, for the prevention and treatment of abused and neglected children:

*4 children die every day as a result of child abuse and neglect. 3out of every 4 of these victims are under the age of 4.

*A report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds

 *Of the reported rapes of children under the age of 12, 90% of the victims knew the perpetrator

 *Child abuse occurs at every socio-economic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all regions and at all levels of education.

 *36.7% of all women in prison and 14.4% of all men in prison in the United States were abused as children.

 *Children that are abused are 2.5 times more likely to abuse alcohol and 3.8 times more likely to become addicted to drugs.

 *One third of abused children will grow to abuse their children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.

(These photos were found in an article written by James Prescott, ‘The Slaughter Of Innocents’, 1977)His article was written a while back but it does not change the face of abuse. This infant had scalding milk poured on her face by her mother. I know a screaming infant can be difficult to care for but you WALK AWAY. This mother obviously lacked the coping skills to care for an infant. She wasn’t thinking about that when she was on her back banging her guy. Was she abused when she was a child? The article did not say. I am guessing yes. Will her child grow up with problems? I am guessing yes. There has to be an end to the cycle. Someone has to be the END. Death cannot be the end.

This precious little one had been bitten in the mouth by their father. What do you think their reaction to affection will be in the future? What kind of affection will they show their children? These images are graphic, harsh and hard to think about it. We can turn a blind eye. You have to think about this, where in society are these children as adults? Are they your neighbor that is on the brink of killing his wife and shooting himself? My ex-brother-law recently committed suicide after shooting his wife in the head. They lived in Colorado. Until his father’s death , that whole family had been tormented and terrorized by him. His father ruled the roost with an iron fist. There were 8 kids.

How would you deal with bedwetting? This parent decided that keeping the child tied up with wire was a good punishment for bedwetting. Seemed reasonable to them. Their parent was probably just as harsh if not worse. Children learn what they live and mimic parenting skills.

 The face of child abuse is ugly. As a child you know that something is wrong with your family. You usually discover this when you start school. The first time you walk into a normal friend’s home and find a different feeling there. The home is clean. Their mom is nice. Their father doesn’t drink and hit their mother. Your friend has been taught basic hygiene. Immediately you think, I cannot have my friend over to my house. They will know I am different; They will know my family is different. Clue bag! The parents and the teachers at the school kind of picked up on ‘it’ but they have turned a blind eye to the whole thing. Heaven forbid someone get involved .

Woops! Is that another broken bone? How many E.R. visits does it take to realize a child is in trouble? The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect (NCCAN) estimated that 37% of children with maltreatment injuries developed a special need or disability, directly from the abusive actions or omissions of the child’s caregivers. Furthermore, NCCAN estimated that incidence of disabilities caused by or likely to have been caused by maltreatment was 147 in 1,000 maltreated children. WOW. Let that sink in.

These marks were left from a beating with a belt. I thought flogging was outlawed years ago!

Abusive parents get creative with a wooden spoon.  This little girl was beat about her legs with a large wooden spoon.

What are the signs of child abuse?(Child Help site)

Physical signs of abuse

*Unexplained burns, cuts, bruises or welts in the shape of an object

*Bite marks

*Antisocial behavior

*Problems in school

*Fear of adults

Emotional signs of abuse:

*Apathy

*Depression

*Hostility or stress

*Lack of concentration

*Eating disorders

Sexual signs of abuse:

 *Inappropriate interest or knowledge in sexual acts

*nightmares & bedwetting

*Drastic changes in appetite

*over compliance or excessive aggression

*Fear of a particular person or family member

Signs of neglect

 *Unsuitable clothing for weather

*Dirty or not bathed

*Extreme hunger

*Apparent lack of supervision

I know that every parent says they love their children and they did not mean to hurt them. I say O.K. Then set your crack pipe down, drop your alcoholic beverage in the sink and start taking control of YOUR life. If you cannot manage your life, how do you plan to manage your child’s life?

I was not a perfect parent. I made parenting mistakes. I have talked about my parenting mistakes with my children. I do not want them to make the same mistakes. As an adult you choose to put those things in your body. No one forces that drink down your throat or those drugs in your body.

My friend Dorothy (http://www.WomensSelfesteem.com) recently wrote a great article about foster children. I know that subject is a sore one for most. The stats alone on the foster care system are staggering. After reading this blog entry you can understand how so many can end up in foster care. In California alone there 83,000 kids in foster care. Foster homes are another place for abuse to happen. Do not think that every foster home is bad or good. Keep your eyes and ears open. I am a nurse. I have a skeptical eye anyway.

By law, children of abuse and neglect must be removed from their homes immediately, which is the least likely outcome (Child Help). In most states child abuse reports can be made anonymously. The person being reported for child abuse is not entitled to know who reported them. Keep in mind, if you report a family member, someone may find out!

Child abuse has probably touched someone close to you, if not yourself. I did not get into the laundry list of parental malformations that drive abuse and neglect. Another time and place. This is probably enough to spur you on and keep you on alert.

 Here is a number for parents. This number is 24 hours a day/7 days a week. The hotline is staffed by degreed counselors. All calls are anonymous.

CALL1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Then Push 1 to Talk to a Hotline Counselor

OR Push 2 to Have Information Mailed to You

The Hotline receives calls from throughout the United States, Canada, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam and Puerto Rico. Communication in 140 languages is available through state-of-the-art technology that allows three-way conversations between the Hotline counselor, the caller, and a professional translator.